NG IN KIND.

A CERTAIN Quaker slept at a hotel in a certain town. He was supplied
with two wax candles. He retired early, and, as he had burned but a
small part of the candles, he took them with him into his bedroom. In
the morning, finding he was charged 2s. in his bill for wax candles,
instead of fees to the waiter and chambermaid, he _gave to each a wax
candle_.

MCLXXXVII.--A FULL HOUSE.

"WHAT plan," said an actor to another, "shall I adopt to fill the house
at my benefit?"--"_Invite your creditors_," was the surly reply.

MCLXXXVIII.--RATHER THE WORST HALF.

ON one occasion a lad, while at home for the holidays, complained to his
mother that a schoolfellow who slept with him took up half the bed. "And
why not?" said the mother; "he's entitled to half, isn't he!"--"Yes,
mother," rejoined her son; "but how would you like to have him take out
all the soft for his half? He will have _his_ half out of the middle,
and I have to sleep _both_ sides of him!"

MCLXXXIX.--FORCE OF HABIT.

A SERVANT of an old maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole, formerly of
Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the doctor every morning to report
the state of her health, how she had slept, &c., with strict injunctions
_always_ to add, "with her compliments." At length, one morning the girl
brought this extraordinary message: "Miss S----'s _compliments_, and she
de'ed last night at aicht o'clock!"

MCXC.--A WONDERFUL SIGHT.

A JOLLY Jack-tar having strayed into Atkins's show at Bartholomew Fair,
to have a look at the wild beasts, was much struck with the sight of a
lion and a tiger in the same den. "Why, Jack," said he to a messmate,
who was chewing a quid in silent amazement, "I shouldn't wonder if next
year they were to carry about a _sailor and a marine living peaceably
together_!"--"Aye," said his married companion, "or a _man and wife_."

MCXCI.--BURKE AND FOX.

MR. BURKE, in speaking of the indisposition of Mr. Fox, which prevented
his making a motion for an investigation into the conduct of Lord
Sandwich, said, "No one laments Mr. Fox's illness more than I do; and I
declare that if he should continue ill, the inquiry into the conduct of
the first Lord of the Admiralty should not be proceeded upon; and,
should the country suffer so serious a calamity as his death, it ought
to be followed up earnestly and solemnly; nay, of so much consequence is
the inquiry to the public, that n