nued the former subject of discourse. Presently he said again,
"John, you cut me"; but as mildly as before: and soon after he had
occasion to say it a third time; when Sutton, starting up in a rage,
said, swearing a great oath, and doubling his fist at the servant, "If
Sir Robert can bear it, I cannot; and if you cut him once more, John,
_I'll knock you down_."

MCCXCI.--A CONJUGAL CONCLUSION.

A WOMAN having fallen into a river, her husband went to look for her,
proceeding up the stream from the place where she fell in. The
bystanders asked him if he was mad,--she could not have gone against the
stream. The man answered, "She was _obstinate_ and _contrary_ in her
life, and no doubt she was the _same at her death_."

MCCXCII.--A QUEER EXPRESSION.

A POOR but clever student in the University of Glasgow was met by one of
the Professors, who noticing the scantiness of his academical toga,
said, "Mr. ----, your gown is very short."--"It will be long enough,
sir, before I get another," replied the student. The answer tickled the
Professor greatly, and he went on quietly chuckling to himself, when he
met a brother Professor, who, noticing his hilarity, inquired what was
amusing him so much. "Why, that fellow ---- said such a funny thing. I
asked why his gown was so short, and he said, 'it will be a long time
before I get another.'"--"There's nothing very funny in that."--"Well,
no," replied the other, "there is not, after all. But _it was the way he
said it_."

MCCXCIII.--AN IRISHMAN'S NOTION OF DISCOUNT.

IT chanced, one gloomy day in the month of December, that a good-humored
Irishman applied to a merchant to discount a bill of exchange for him at
rather a long though not an unusual date; and the merchant having
casually remarked that the bill had a great many days to run, "That's
true," replied the Irishman, "but consider how _short the days are_ at
this time of the year."

MCCXCIV.--A PARTICIPATION IN A PRACTICAL JOKE.

SOME unlucky lads in the University bearing a spite to the dean for his
severity towards them, went secretly one night and daubed the rails of
his staircase with tar. The dean coming down in the dark, dirtied his
hands and coat very much with the tar; and, being greatly enraged, he
sent for one most suspected to be the author. This the lad utterly
denied; but said, "Truly, I did it not; but if you please, I can tell
you who had _a hand in it_." Here they tho