riend to use her tongue pretty freely after. "There was a time,"
he remarked, "when I almost imagined she had _no tongue_."--"Yes," said
the husband, with a sigh, "but it's very _very long_ since!"

MDCXVI.--AN UNLIKELY RESULT.

WHEN Sir Thomas More was brought a prisoner to the Tower, the
lieutenant, who had formerly received many favors from him, offered him
"suche poore cheere" as he had; to which the ex-chancellor replied,
"Assure yourself, master lieutenant, I do not mislike my cheer; but
whensoever so I do, _then thrust me out of your doors_."

MDCXVII.--POLITICAL LOGIC.

IF two decided negatives will make
Together one affirmative, let's take
P----t's and L----t's, each a rogue _per se_,
Who by this rule an honest pair will be.

MDCXVIII.--A WISE DECISION.

A GENTLEMAN going to take water at Whitehall stairs, cried out, as he
came near the place, "Who can swim?"--"I, master," said forty bawling
mouths; when the gentleman observing one slinking away, called after
him; but the fellow turning about, said, "Sir, I cannot swim,"--"Then
you are my man," said the gentleman, "for you will at least _take care
of me for your own sake_."

MDCXIX.--A POINT NEEDING TO BE SETTLED.

A SCOTTISH minister being one day engaged in visiting some members of
his flock, came to the door of a house where his gentle tapping could
not be heard for the noise of contention within. After waiting a little
he opened the door and walked in, saying, with an authoritative voice,
"I should like to know who is the head of this house?"--"Weel, sir,"
said the husband and father, "if ye sit doon a wee, we'll maybe be able
to tell ye, for we're _just trying to settle that point_."

MDCXX.--A POOR LAUGH.

CURRAN was just rising to cross-examine a witness before a judge who was
familiar with the dry-as-dust black-letter law books, but could never
comprehend a jest, when the witness began to laugh before the learned
counsel had asked him a question. "What are you laughing at, friend,"
said Curran, "what are you laughing at? Let me tell you that a laugh
without a joke is like--is like--"--"Like what, Mr. Curran," asked the
judge, imagining he was at fault. "Just exactly, my lord, like a
_contingent remainder_ without any particular _estate_ to support it."

MDCXXI.--AN ANTICIPATED CALAMITY.

ON the departure of Bishop Selwyn for his diocese, New Zealand, Sydney
Smith,