ULPHUROUS.

LORD CHESTERFIELD, being told that a certain termagant and scold was
married to a gamester, replied, "that _cards and brimstone_ made the
best matches."

MDCCIII.--A JOKE FROM THE NORTH.

THE reigning _bore_ at one time in Edinburgh was Professor L----; his
favorite subject the _North Pole_. One day the arch tormentor met
Jeffrey in a narrow lane, and began instantly on the North Pole.
Jeffrey, in despair, and out of all patience, darted past him,
exclaiming, "Hang the North Pole!" Sydney Smith met Mr. L---- shortly
after, boiling over with indignation at Jeffrey's contempt of the North
Pole. "O, my dear fellow," said Sydney, "never mind; no one minds what
Jeffrey says, you know; he is a privileged person,--he respects nothing,
absolutely nothing. Why, you will scarcely credit it, but it is not more
than a week ago that I heard him speak disrespectfully of the
_Equator_."

MDCCIV.--MULTIPLYING ONE.

SYDNEY SMITH once said: "I remember entering a room with glass all round
it at the French embassy, and saw myself reflected on every side. I
took it for a _meeting of the clergy_, and was delighted of course."

MDCCV.--AN AFFIRMATIVE EPIGRAM.

WHEN Julia was asked, if to church she would go,
The fair one replied to me, "No, Richard, no."
At her meaning I ventured a pretty good guess,
For from grammar I learned _No_ and _No_ stood for _Yes_.

MDCCVI.--THE RULING PASSION.

A LADY'S beauty is dear to her at all times. A very lovely woman, worn
out with a long and painful sickness, begged her attendants to desist
rubbing her temples with Hungary water, _as it would make her hair
gray_!

MDCCVII.--INDIFFERENCE TO DEATH.

A PRISONER, who had received notice that he was to die the next morning,
was asked by some of his unfortunate companions to share their repast
with them. He answered, "I never eat anything that I expect will _not
digest_."

MDCCVIII.--SELF-INTEREST.

THOSE who wish to tax anything containing _intelligence_, must be
actuated by selfish views, seeing that it is an imposition of which they
are not likely to feel _the burden_.

MDCCIX.--ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

A GLASGOW professor met a poor student passing along one of the courts,
and remarked to him that his gown was very short. "_It will be long
enough before I get another_," answered the student. The reply tickled
the professor's fancy so much that h