his work to-day,
But who knows when he'll end?

MDCXXIX.--PROFESSIONAL RECOGNITION.

MISS KELLY standing one day in the street, enjoying the vagaries of
punch with the rest of the crowd, the showman came up to her and
solicited a contribution. She was not very ready in answering the
demand, when the fellow, taking care to make her understand that he knew
who she was, exclaimed, "Ah! it's all over with the _drama_, if we don't
encourage one another."

MDCXXX.--A CELESTIAL VISION.

QUIN, being asked by a lady why there were more women in the world than
men, replied, "It is in conformity with the other arrangements of
Nature, madam; we always see more of _heaven than earth_."

MDCXXXI.--DESTITUTION OF THE SMITH FAMILY.

ONE morning a pompous little man called upon Sydney Smith, saying that,
being about to compile a history of distinguished families in
Somersetshire, he had called to obtain the Smith _arms_. "I regret,
sir," said the reverend wit, "not to be able to contribute to so
valuable a work; but _the Smiths_ never had any _arms_, and have
invariably sealed their letters with their _thumbs_."

MDCXXXII.--UNCIVIL WARNING.

A CELEBRATED professor, dining in company with a gaudy, discordant, and
silly chatterer, was asked to help her to the usual concomitant of
boiled fowl. As he did so, he abstractedly murmured, "Parsley,--_fatal
to parrots_."

MDCXXXIII.--AN INEVITABLE MISFORTUNE.

WHEN Boswell was first introduced to Dr. Johnson, he apologized to him
for being a Scotchman. "I find," said he, "that I am come to London at a
bad time, when great popular prejudice has gone forth against us North
Britons; but when I am talking to you, I am talking to a large and
liberal mind, and you know that I cannot _help coming from
Scotland_."--"Sir," replied the doctor, archly, "_no more_ can the rest
of your countrymen."

MDCXXXIV.--DONE FOR.

TWO gentlemen were lately examining the breast of a plough on a stall in
a market-place. "I'll bet you a crown," said one, "you don't know what
it's for."--"Done," said the other. "_It is for sale_." The bet was
paid.

MDCXXXV.--A PROBLEM FOR TOTAL ABSTAINERS.

THOMAS HOOD says: "Puny draughts can hardly be called drinking. _Pints_
cannot be deemed _pot_ations."

MDCXXXVI.--THE DOG TAX.

BROWN drops in. Brown is said to be the toady of Jones. When Jones has
the influenza, Brown dutiful