ty dinner not long after his
promotion to city honors. Among the guests was a noisy vulgar deputy, a
great glutton, who, on his entering the dinner-room, always with great
deliberation took off his wig, suspended it on a pin, and with due
solemnity put on a white cotton nightcap. Wilkes, who certainly was a
high-bred man, and never accustomed to similar exhibitions, could not
take his eyes from so strange and novel a picture. At length the deputy,
with unblushing familiarity, walked up to Wilkes, and asked him whether
he did not think that his nightcap became him. "O, yes, sir," replied
Wilkes, "but it would look much better if it was pulled quite _over_
your face."

MDCLXIV.--A PRETTY REPLY.

LORD MELBOURNE, inspecting the kitchen of the Reform Club, jocosely
remarked to Alexis Soyer, _chef de cuisine_, that his female assistants
were all very pretty. "Yes, my lord," replied Soyer; "_plain_ cooks will
not do here."

MDCLXV.--A CONVENIENT THEORY.

AT charity meetings, one Mould always volunteered to go round with the
hat, but was suspected of sparing his own pocket. Overhearing one day a
hint to that effect, he made the following speech: "Other gentlemen puts
down what they thinks proper, and so does I. Charity's a private
concern, and what I gives is _nothing to nobody_."

MDCLXVI.--BUT ONE GOOD TRANSLATION.

DRYDEN'S translation of Virgil being commended by a right reverend
bishop, Lord Chesterfield said, "The original is indeed excellent; but
everything suffers by a _translation_,--except a _bishop_!"

MDCLXVII.--PHILIP, EARL OF STANHOPE.

PHILIP, Earl of Stanhope, whose dress always corresponded with the
simplicity of his manners, was once prevented from going into the House
of Peers, by a doorkeeper who was unacquainted with his person. Lord
Stanhope was resolved to get into the House without explaining who he
was; and the doorkeeper, equally determined on his part, said to him,
"Honest man, you have no business here. _Honest man_ you _can_ have no
business _in this place_."--"I believe," rejoined his lordship, "you are
right; _honest men_ can have no business here."

MDCLXVIII.--RIGID IMPARTIALITY.

SYDNEY SMITH, calling one day upon a fellow contributor to the
_Edinburgh Review_, found him reading a book preparatory to writing an
account of it, and expostulated with him. "Why, how do you manage?"
asked his friend. "I never," said the wit, "read a book