ed him as her husband. Jerrold listened
to the end of the story, and then quietly remarked, "Ah! she evidently
thought you better than _nun_."

MDCL.--RECIPROCAL ACTION.

A VERY fat man, for the purpose of quizzing his doctor, asked him to
prescribe for a complaint, which he declared was sleeping with his mouth
open. "Sir," said the doctor, "your disease is incurable. Your skin is
_too short_, so that when you shut your eyes your mouth opens."

MDCLI.--ACRES AND WISEACRES.

A WEALTHY but weak-headed barrister once remarked to Curran that "No one
should be admitted to the Bar who had not an independent landed
property."--"May I ask, sir," replied Curran, "how many acres make a
_wise-acre_?"

MDCLII.--AN UNEQUAL ARRANGEMENT.

TWO young Irishmen, wishing to live cheaply, and to divide their
expenses, agreed the one to _board_, and the other to _lodge_.

MDCLIII.--A REASON FOR BEING TOO LATE.

CANNING and another gentleman were looking at a picture of the Deluge:
the ark was in the middle distance; in the fore-sea an elephant was seen
struggling with his fate. "I wonder," said the gentleman, "that the
elephant did not secure _an inside_ place."--"He was too late, my
friend," replied Canning; "he was detained _packing up his trunk_."

MDCLIV.--COOL AS A CUCUMBER.

SOME one was mentioning in Lamb's presence the cold-heartedness of the
Duke of Cumberland, in restraining the duchess from rushing up to the
embrace of her son, whom she had not seen for a considerable time, and
insisting on her receiving him in state. "How horribly _cold_ it was,"
said the narrator. "Yes," replied Lamb, in his stuttering way; "but you
know he is the, Duke of _Cu-cum-ber-land_."

MDCLV.--AN AMPLE APOLOGY.

A CLERGYMAN at Cambridge preached a sermon which one of his auditors
commended. "Yes," said the gentleman to whom it was mentioned, "it was a
good sermon, but he stole it." This was repeated to the preacher, who
resented it, and called on the gentleman to retract. "I will," replied
the aggressor. "I said you had stolen the sermon. I find I was wrong,
for on referring to the book whence I thought it was taken, _I found it
there_."

MDCLVI.--FUNERAL INVITATION.

SIR BOYLE ROACH had a servant who was as great an original as his
master. Two days after the death of the baronet, this man waited upon a
gentleman, who had been a most intimate friend of Sir Boyle, for t