e asked
him if he took milk in his tea. "Yes, ma'am _when I can't get cream_,"
was the ready reply.

MCCCLXXII.--OUT OF SPIRITS.

"IS my wife out of spirits?" said John with a sigh,
As her voice of a tempest gave warning.
"Quite out, sir, indeed," said her maid in reply,
"For she _finished_ the bottle this morning."

MCCCLXXIII.--GOOD AT THE HALT.

PETER MACNALLY, an Irish attorney, was very lame, and, when walking, had
an unfortunate limp, which he could not bear to be told of. At the time
of the Rebellion he was seized with a military ardor, and when the
different volunteer corps were forming in Dublin, that of the lawyers
was organized. Meeting with Curran, Macnally said, "My dear friend,
these are not times for a man to be idle; I am determined to enter the
lawyers' corps, and follow the camp."--"You follow the camp, my little
limb of the law!" said the wit; "tut, tut, renounce the idea; you never
can be a disciplinarian."--"And why not, Mr. Curran?" said Macnally.
"For this reason," said Curran; "the moment you were ordered to march,
you would _halt_!"

MCCCLXXIV.--AN EASY WAY.

A PERSON deeply in debt, was walking through the streets in a melancholy
way, when a friend asked him the cause of his sadness. "I owe money and
cannot pay it," said the man, in a tone of extreme dejection. "Can't you
leave all the _uneasiness_ to your creditors?" replied the other. "Is it
not enough that one should be sorry for what _neither of you can help_?"

MCCCLXXV.--ERUDITE.

A LADY had a favorite lapdog, which she called _Perchance_. "A singular
name," said somebody, "for a beautiful pet, madam. Where did you find
it?"--"O," drawled she, "it was named from Byron's dog. You remember
where he says, '_Perchance_ my dog will howl.'"

MCCCLXXVI.--VERY EASY.

ON the approach of Holy Week, a great lady said to her friend, "We must,
however, mortify ourselves _a little_."--"Well," replied the other, "let
us make our _servants fast_."

MCCCLXXVII.--A WINNER AT CARDS.

A GENTLEMAN riding one day near Richmond, observed a house delightfully
situated, and asking his companion to whom it belonged, was answered,
"To a _card-maker_."--"Upon my life," he replied, "one would imagine all
that man's _cards_ must have been _trumps_."

MCCCLXXVIII.--EPIGRAM.

THE charity of Closefist give to fame,
He has at last _subscribed_--how much?--_