ntly _lie
down_ and fall asleep by the very _side of it_."

MCCCLXXXVII.--SENSIBILITY.

A KEEN sportsman, who kept harriers, was so vexed when any noise was
made while the hounds were at fault, that he rode up to a gentleman who
accidentally coughed at such a time, and said, "I wish, with all my
heart, sir, your _cough_ was better."

MCCCLXXXVIII.--PATIENCE.

WHEN Lord Chesterfield was one day at Newcastle House, the Duke
happening to be very particularly engaged, the Earl was requested to sit
down in an ante-room. "Garnet upon Job," a book dedicated to the Duke,
happened to lie in the window; and his Grace, on entering, found the
Earl so busily engaged in reading, that he asked how he liked the
commentary. "In any other place," replied Chesterfield, "I should not
think much of it; but there is so much _propriety_ in putting a volume
upon _patience_ in the room where every visitor has to wait for your
Grace, that _here_ it must be considered as one of the _best books in
the world_."

MCCCLXXXIX.--WHAT'S MY THOUGHT LIKE?

_Quest._ WHY is a pump like Viscount Castlereagh?

_Ans._ Because it is a slender thing of wood,
That up and down its awkward arm doth sway,
And coolly shout, and spout, and spout away,
In one weak, washy, everlasting flood!

MCCCXC.--NOT GIVING HIMSELF "AIRS."

ARCHDEACON PALEY was in very high spirits when he was presented to his
first preferment in the Church. He attended at a visitation dinner just
after this event, and during the entertainment called out jocosely,
"Waiter, shut down that window at the back of my chair, and open another
behind some _curate_."

MCCCXCI.--A BARBER SHAVED BY A LAWYER.

"SIR," said a barber to an attorney who was passing his door, "will you
tell me if this is a good half-sovereign?" The lawyer, pronouncing the
piece good, deposited it in his pocket, adding, with gravity, "If
you'll send your lad to my office, I'll return the _three and
four-pence_."

MCCCXCII.--A MAN OF METAL.

EDWIN JAMES, examining a witness, asked him what his business was. He
answered, "A dealer in old iron."--"Then," said the counsel, "you must
of course be a thief."--"I don't see," replied the witness, "why a
dealer in _iron_ must necessarily be a thief, more than a dealer in
_brass_."

MCCCXCIII.--SPECIMEN OF THE LACONIC.

"BE less prolix," says Grill. I like advic