MCDLXXXIII.--CHEMICAL ODDITY.

WHILE an ignorant lecturer was describing the nature of gas, a
blue-stocking lady inquired of a gentleman near her, what was the
difference between oxygin and hydrogin? "Very little, madam," said he;
"by oxygin we mean pure _gin_; and by hydrogin, _gin and water_."

MCDLXXXIV.--AN APISH RESEMBLANCE.

CHARLES LAMB used to say, that he had a great dislike to monkeys, on the
principle that "it was not pleasant to look upon one's _poor
relations_."

MCDLXXXV.--HE WHO SUNG "THE LAYS OF ANCIENT ROME."

LORD MACAULAY, passing one day through the Seven Dials, bought a handful
of ballads from some street-folks who were bawling out their contents to
a gaping audience. Proceeding on his way home, he was astonished to
find himself followed by half a score of urchins, their faces beaming
with expectation. "Now then, my lads, what is it?" said he. "O, that's a
good 'un," replied one of the boys, "after we've come all this
way."--"But what are you waiting for?" said the historian, astonished at
the lad's familiarity. "Waiting for! why ain't you going to _sing,
guv'ner_?"

MCDLXXXVI.--DEATH-BED FORGIVENESS.

A VETERAN Highlander, between whose family and that of a neighboring
chieftain had existed a long hereditary feud, being on his death-bed,
was reminded that this was the time to forgive all his enemies, even he
who had most injured him. "Well, be it so," said the old Gael, after a
short pause, "be it so; go tell Kinmare I forgive him,--but my curses
rest upon my son _if ever he does_."

MCDLXXXVII.--A REASONABLE PREFERENCE.

WHETHER tall men or short men are best,
Or bold men, or modest and shy men,
I can't say, but this I protest,
All the fair are in favor of _Hy-men_.

MCDLXXXVIII.--A DEAR BARGAIN.

QUIN was one day lamenting that he grew old, when a shallow impertinent
young fellow said to him, "What would you give to be as young as I
am?"--"By the powers," replied Quin, "I would even submit to be _almost
as foolish_!"

MCDLXXXIX.--SUGGESTIVE REPUDIATION.

LORD BYRON was once asked by a friend in the green-room of the Drury
Lane Theatre, whether he did not think Miss Kelly's acting in the "_Maid
and the Magpie_" exceedingly natural. "I really am no _judge_," answered
his lordship, "I was never _innocent_ of stealing a spoon."

MCDXC.--NO INTRUSION.

A LOQUACIOUS author, after babb