as_."

MDVI.--OPENLY.

NO, Varus hates a thing that's base;
I own, indeed, he's got a knack
Of flattering people to their face,
But scorns to do 't behind their back.

MDVII.--PAINTED CHARMS.

OF a celebrated actress, who, in her declining days, bought charms of
carmine and pearl-powder, Jerrold said, "Egad! she should have a hoop
about her, with a notice upon it, '_Beware of the paint_.'"

MDVIII.--ON THE SPOT.

TWO Oxonians dining together, one of them noticing a spot of grease on
the neck-cloth of his companion, said, "I see you are a
_Grecian_."--"Pooh!" said the other, "that is _far-fetched_."--"No,
indeed," said the punster, "I made it on the _spot_."

MDIX.--MR. ERSKINE'S FIRMNESS.

IN the famous trial of the Dean of Asaph, Mr. Erskine put a question to
the jury, relative to the meaning of their verdict. Mr. Justice Buller
objected to its propriety. The counsel reiterated his question, and
demanded an answer. The judge again interposed his authority in these
emphatic words: "Sit down, Mr. Erskine; know your duty, or I shall be
obliged to make you know it." Mr. Erskine with equal warmth replied, "I
know _my duty_ as well as your lordship knows _your duty_. I stand here
as the advocate of a fellow citizen, _and I will not sit down_." The
judge was silent, and the advocate persisted in his question.

MDX.--A SHUFFLING ANSWER.

A FAIR devotee lamented to her confessor her love of gaming. "Ah!
madam," replied the reverend gentleman, "it is a grievous sin;--in the
first place consider the _loss of time_."--"That's just what I do," said
she; "I always begrudge the time that is lost in _shuffling and
dealing_."

MDXI.--THE DEBT PAID.

TO _John_ I owed great obligation;
But _John_, unhappily, thought fit
To publish it to all the nation:
Sure _John_ and I am more than quit.

MDXII.--A UTILITARIAN INQUIRY.

JAMES SMITH one night took old Mr. Twiss to hear Mathews in his _At
Home_, to the whole of which the mathematician gave devoted attention.
At the close, Mr. Smith asked him whether he had not been surprised and
pleased. "Both," replied Mr. Twiss, "but what _does it all go to
prove_?"

MDXIII.--AN OBJECTIONABLE PROCESS.

GENERAL D---- was more distinguished for gallantry in the field than for
the care he lavished upon his person. Complaining, on a certain
occasion, to the late Chi