ught to have found out the
truth, and asked him who. The lad answered, "_Your worship, sir_"; which
caused him to be dismissed with great applause for his ingenuity.

MCCXCV.--INGRATITUDE.

WHEN Lord B---- died, a person met an old man who was one of his most
intimate friends. He was pale, confused, awe-stricken. Every one was
trying to console him, but in vain. "His loss," he exclaimed, "does not
affect me so much as his horrible ingratitude. Would you believe it? he
died without leaving me anything in his will,--I, who have _dined with
him, at his own house, three times a week for thirty years_!"

MCCXCVI.--A PREFIX.

WHEN Lord Melcombe's name was plain Bubb, he was intended by the
administration to be sent ambassador to Spain. Lord Chesterfield met
him, and told him he was not a fit person to be representative of the
crown of England at the Spanish court, on account of the shortness of
his name, as the Spaniards pride themselves on the length of their
titles, "unless," added his lordship, "you don't mind calling yourself
_Silly-Bubb_!"

MCCXCVII.--A GOOD MIXTURE.

AN eminent painter was once asked what he mixed his colors with in order
to produce so extraordinary an effect. "I mix them with _brains_, sir!"
was his answer.

MCCXCVIII.--SIR WALTER SCOTT'S PARRITCH-PAN.

IN the museum at Abbotsford there is a small Roman _patera_, or goblet,
in showing which Sir Walter Scott tells the following story: "I
purchased this" (says he) "at a nobleman's roup near by, at the enormous
sum of twenty-five guineas. I would have got it for twenty-pence if an
antiquary who knew its value had not been there and opposed me. However,
I was almost consoled for the bitter price it cost by the amusement I
derived from an old woman, who had evidently come from a distance to
purchase some trifling culinary articles, and who had no taste for the
antique. At every successive guinea which we bade for the _patera_ this
good old lady's mouth grew wider and wider with unsophisticated
astonishment, until at last I heard her mutter to herself, in a tone
which I shall never forget,--'Five-an-twenty guineas! _If the
parritch-pan gangs at that, what will the kail-pan gang for_!'"

MCCXCIX.--HORNE TOOKE AND WILKES.

HORNE TOOKE having challenged Wilkes, who was then Sheriff of London and
Middlesex, received the following laconic reply: "Sir, I do not think it
my business to cut the throat of