HDEACON?

LORD ALTHORP, when Chancellor of the Exchequer, having to propose to the
House of Commons a vote of L400 a year for the salary of the Archdeacon
of Bengal, was puzzled by a question from Mr. Hume, "What are the duties
of an archdeacon?" So he sent one of the subordinate occupants of the
Treasury Bench to the other House to obtain an answer to the question
from one of the bishops. To Dr. Blomfield accordingly the messenger
went, and repeated the question, "What is an archdeacon?"--"An
archdeacon," replied the bishop, in his quick way, "an archdeacon is an
ecclesiastical officer, who performs archidiaconal functions"; and with
this reply Lord Althorp and the House were perfectly satisfied. It ought
to be added, however, that when the story was repeated to the bishop
himself, he said that he had no recollection of having made any such
answer; but that if he had, it must have been suggested to him by a
saying of old John White, a dentist, whom he had known in early days,
who used to recommend the use of lavender-water to his patients, and
when pressed for a reason for his recommendation, replied, "On account
of its _lavendric_ properties."

MCCCXLIII.--"ON MR. PITT'S BEING PELTED BY THE MOB, ON LORD MAYOR'S
DAY, 1787."

THE City-feast inverted here we find,
For Pitt had his _dessert_ before he dined.

MCCCXLIV.--LATIMER.

THE pious and learned martyr, and Bishop of Worcester, who was educated
at Christ College, Cambridge, and was one of the first reformers of the
Church of England, at a controversial conference, being out-talked by
younger divines, and out-argued by those who were more studied in the
_fathers_, said, "I cannot talk for my _religion_, but I am ready to die
for it."

MCCCXLV.--EXCUSE FOR COWARDICE.

A BRAGGART ran away from battle, and gave as a reason, that a friend
had written his epitaph, which had an excellent point in it, provided he
attained the age of _one hundred_.

MCCCXLVI.--A NEW IDEA.

ONE of Mrs. Montague's blue-stocking ladies fastened upon Foote, at one
of the routs in Portman Square, with her views of Locke "On the
Understanding," which she protested she admired above all things; only
there was one particular word, very often repeated, which she could not
distinctly make out, and that was the word (pronouncing it very long)
_ide-a_. "But I suppose," said she, "it comes from a Greek
derivation."--"You are perfectly ri