know her, and you can introduce me." While the other was standing aghast
at the impudence of the proposal, and muttering something about being
but a slight acquaintance himself, etc., Sydney Smith observed, "Pray
oblige our young friend; you can do it easily enough by introducing him
in a capacity very desirable at this close season of the year,--say you
are bringing with you the _cool of the evening_."

MCCCLIX.--A PROPER NAME.

WHEN Messrs. Abbot and Egerton took the old Coburg Theatre for the
purpose of bringing forward the legitimate drama, the former gentleman
asked Hook if he could suggest a new name, the old being too much
identified with blue fire and broadswords to suit the proposed change of
performance. "Why," said Hook, "as you will of course butcher everything
you attempt, suppose you call it _Abbatoir_."

MCCCLX.--THE GRANDSON.

HORACE WALPOLE, on one occasion observed that there had existed the same
indecision, irresolution, and want of system in the politics of Queen
Anne, as at the time he spoke, under the reign of George the Third.
"But," added he, "there is nothing new under the _sun_!"--"No," said
George Selwyn, "nor under the _grand-son_!"

MCCCLXI.--AN UNANSWERABLE ARGUMENT.

A WELL-FED rector was advising a poor starving laborer to trust to
Providence, and be satisfied with his _lot_. "Ah!" replied the needy
man, "I should be satisfied with his _lot_ if I had it, but I can't get
even a _little_."

MCCCLXII.--TO LADY, MOUNT E----, ON THE DEATH OF A FAVORITE PIG.

O DRY that tear so round and big,
Nor waste in sighs your precious wind;
Death only takes _a single pig_--
Your _lord and son_ are still behind.

MCCCLXIII.--NATURAL.

MRS. SMITH, hearing strange sounds, inquired of her new servant if she
snored in her sleep. "I don't know, marm," replied Becky, quite
innocently; "I never _lay awake_ long enough to diskiver."

MCCCLXIV.--BROTHERLY LOVE.

AN affectionate Irishman once enlisted in the 75th Regiment, in order to
be near his brother, who was a corporal _in the 76th_.

MCCCLXV.--A DISTRESSFUL DENOUEMENT.

MR. MOORE having been long under a prosecution in Doctors' Commons, his
proctor called on him one day whilst he was composing the tragedy of
_The Gamester_. The proctor having sat down, he read him four acts of
the piece, being all he had written; by which the man of law was so
affecte