ght, madam," said Foote; "it comes
from the word _ideaowski_."--"And pray, sir, what does that mean?"--"It
is the _feminine_ of idiot, madam!"

MCCCXLVII--THE POOR CURATE.

FOR the Rector in vain through the parish you'll search,
But the Curate you'll find _living hard_ by the church.

MCCCXLVIII.--NEIGHBORLY POLITENESS.

SIR GODFREY KNELLER and Dr. Ratcliffe lived next door to each other, and
were extremely intimate. Kneller had a very fine garden, and as the
doctor was fond of flowers, he permitted him to have a door into it.
Ratcliffe's servants gathering and destroying the flowers, Kneller sent
to inform him that he would nail up the door; to which Ratcliffe, in his
rough manner, replied, "Tell him, he may do anything but _paint_
it."--"Well," replied Kneller, "he may say what he will, for tell him, I
will _take anything from him, except physic_."

MCCCXLIX.--A HEAVY WEIGHT.

MR. DOUGLAS, son of the Bishop of Salisbury, was six feet two inches in
height, and of enormous bulk. The little boys of Oxford always gathered
about him when he went into the streets, to look up at his towering
bulk. "Get out of my way, you little scamps," he used to cry, "_or I
will roll upon you_." It was upon this gentleman that Canning composed
the following epigram:--

That the stones of our chapel are both black and white,
Is most undeniably true;
But, as Douglas walks o'er them both morning and night,
It's a wonder they're not _black and blue_.

MCCCL.--A SYLLABIC DIFFERENCE.

GIBBON, the historian, was one day attending the trial of Warren
Hastings in Westminster Hall, and Sheridan, having perceived him there,
took occasion to mention "the luminous author of _The Decline and
Fall_." After he had finished, one of his friends reproached him with
flattering Gibbon. "Why, what did I say of him?" asked Sheridan. "You
called him the luminous author."--"Luminous! Oh, I meant _vo_luminous!"

MCCCLI.--"SINKING" THE WELL.

THEODORE HOOK once observed a party of laborers sinking a well. "What
are you about?" he inquired. "Boring for water, sir," was the answer.
"Water's a bore at any time," responded Hook; "besides, you're quite
wrong; remember the old proverb,--'Let _well_ alone.'"

MCCCLII.--ON A GENTLEMAN NAMED HEDDY.

IN reading his name it may truly be said,
You will make that man _dy_ if you cut off his _Hed_.

MCCCLII