THE Earl of P---- kept a number of swine at his seat in Wiltshire, and
crossing the yard one day he was surprised to see the pigs gathered
round one trough, and making a great noise. Curiosity prompted him to
see what was the cause, and on looking into the trough he perceived a
large silver spoon. A servant-maid came out, and began to abuse the pigs
for crying so. "Well they may," said his lordship, "when they have got
but one _silver spoon_ among them all."

MCCCXXXI.--A FALSE FACE TRUE.

THAT there is _falsehood_ in his looks
I must and will deny;
They say their master is a knave:
And sure _they do not lie_.

MCCCXXXII.--A CONSIDERATE MAYOR.

A COUNTRY mayor being newly got into office, that he might be seen to do
something in it, would persuade his brethren to have a new pair of
gallows built; but one of the aldermen said, that they had an old pair
which would serve well enough. "Yea," said the mayor, "the old ones
shall be to hang strangers on, and the new pair for _us and our heirs_
for ever."

MCCCXXXIII.--THE SAFE SIDE.

DURING the riots of 1780, most persons in London, in order to save their
houses from being burnt or pulled down, wrote on their doors, "_No
Popery_!" Old Grimaldi, the father of the celebrated "Joey," to avoid
all mistakes, wrote on his, "_No Religion_!"

MCCCXXXIV.--VISIBLY LOSING.

IN an election for the borough of Tallagh, Councillor Egan, or "bully
Egan," as he was familiarly called, being an unsuccessful candidate,
appealed to a Committee of the House of Commons. It was in the heat of a
very warm summer, and Egan (who was an immensely stout man) was
struggling through the crowd, his handkerchief in one hand, his wig in
the other, and his whole countenance raging like the dog-star, when he
met Curran. "I'm sorry for you, my dear fellow," said Curran. "Sorry!
why so, Jack, why so? I'm perfectly at my ease."--"Alas! Egan, it is but
too visible that you're losing _tallow_ (Tallagh) fast!"

MCCCXXXV.--REASON FOR THICK ANKLES.

"HARRY, I cannot think," says Dick,
"What makes my ankles grow so thick."
"You do not recollect," says Harry,
"_How great a calf_ they have to carry."

MCCCXXXVI.--ERASMUS VERSUS LUTHER.

ERASMUS, of whom Cambridge has a right to be not a little proud, was
entreated by Lord Mountjoy to attack the _errors_ of Luther. "My lord,"
answered Erasmus, "nothing is more easy