o bad use would be made of the skin of
my departed friend, (should such, alas! be his fate!) if, like that of
John Zisca, it should be converted _into a drum_, and used for the
purpose of sounding an alarm to the people of England."

MCXCII.--TRYING TO THE TEMPER.

LORD ALLEN, in conversation with Rogers, the poet, observed: "I never
put my razor into hot water, as I find it injures the temper of the
blade."--"No doubt of it," replied Rogers; "show me the blade that is
_not out of temper_ when plunged into _hot water_."

MCXCIII.--HAVING A CALL.

MR. DUNLOP, while making his pastoral visitations among some of the
country members of his flock, came to a farm-house where he was
expected; and the mistress, thinking that he would be in need of
refreshment, proposed that he should take his tea before engaging in
_exercises_, and said she would soon have it ready. Mr. Dunlop replied,
"I aye tak' my tea better when my wark's dune. I'll just be gaun on. Ye
can hing the pan on, an' lea' the door ajar, an' I'll draw to a close in
the prayer when I hear the _haam fizzin'_."

MCXCIV.--A WILL AND AWAY.

IT was a strange instance of alleged obedience to orders in the case of
a father's will, which a brute of a fellow displayed in turning his
younger brother out-of-doors. He was vociferously remonstrated with by
the neighbors on the gross impropriety of such conduct. "Sure," said he,
"it's the will; I'm ordered to _divide_ the house betune myself and my
brother, so I've taken the _inside_ and given him the _outside_."

MCXCV.--A WINDY MINISTER.

IN one of our northern counties, a rural district had its harvest
operations seriously affected by continuous rains. The crops being much
laid, wind was desired in order to restore them to a condition fit for
the sickle. A minister, in his Sabbath services, expressed their wants
in prayer as follows:--"Send us wind, no a rantin', tantin', tearin'
wind, but a noohin' (noughin?), soughin', winnin' wind." More expressive
words than these could not be found in any language.

MCXCVI.--READY RECKONER.

THE Duke of Wellington, when Premier, was the terror of the idlers in
Downing Street. On one occasion when the Treasury clerks told him that
some required mode of making up the accounts was impracticable, they
were met with the curt reply: "Never mind, if you can't do it, I'll send
you half-a-dozen _pay sergeants_ that will,"--a hint that th