aid one of the attendants, "Joseph is accustomed to such
adventures, and will think no more of it."--"But I _shall_" replied the
landlord; "and never forgive myself for having had an emperor in my
house, and letting him off for _three and sixpence_."

MCCXXIII.--NICKNAMES.

JOHN MAGEE, formerly the printer of the _Dublin Evening Post_, was full
of shrewdness and eccentricity. Several prosecutions were instituted
against him by the government, and many "keen encounters of the tongue"
took place on these occasions between him and John Scott, Lord Clonmel,
who was at that period Chief Justice of the King's Bench. In addressing
the Court in his own defence, Magee had occasion to allude to some
public character, who was better known by a familiar designation. The
official gravity of Clonmel was disturbed; and he, with bilious
asperity, reproved the printer, by saying, "Mr. Magee, we allow no
nicknames in this court,"---"Very well, _John Scott_," was the reply.

MCCXXIV.--A CALCULATION.

AFTER the death of the poet Chatterton, there was found among his
papers, indorsed on a letter intended for publication, addressed to
Beckford, then Lord Mayor, dated May 26, 1770, the following memorandum:
"Accepted by Bingley, set for, and thrown out of, the _North Briton_,
21st June, on account of the Lord Mayor's death:--

Lost by his death on this essay L 1 11 6
Gained in elegies 2 2 0
Gained in essays 3 3 0
Am glad he is dead by 3 13 6."

Yet the evident heartlessness of this calculation has been ingeniously
vindicated by Southey, in the _Quarterly Review_.

MCCXXV.--ON THE PRICE OF ADMISSION TO SEE THE MAMMOTH HORSE.

I WOULD not pay a coin to see
An animal much larger;
Surely the mammoth horse must be
Rather an _overcharger_.

MCCXXVI.--NOTHING BUT HEBREW.

A CANTAB chanced to enter a strange church, and after he had been seated
some little time, another person was ushered into the same pew with him.
The stranger pulled out of his pocket a prayer-book, and offered to
share it with the Cantab, though he perceived he had one in his hand.
This courtesy proceeded from a mere ostentatious display of his
learning, as it proved to be in _Latin_. The Cantab immediately declined
the offer by saying, "Sir, I read nothing but _Hebrew_!"

MCCXXVII.--A GOOD RECOMMENDATION.

WHEN Captain Gr