Fox and the Goose, and did not clearly expound his idea. Whereupon, Mr.
Dudley North said, "It's himself he means,--who left the _Fox_ to go
over to the _Goose_, and put the bag of oats in his pocket."

MCCLXXIV.--DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.

"IF I were so unlucky," said an officer, "as to have a stupid son, I
would certainly by all means make him a _parson_." A clergyman who was
in company calmly replied, "You think differently, sir, from _your
father_."

MCCLXXV.--ORTHOGRAPHY.

THE laird of M'N----b was writing a letter from an Edinburgh
coffee-house, when a friend observed that he was setting at defiance
the laws of orthography and grammar. "I ken that weel eno'!" exclaimed
the Highland chieftain, "but how can a man _write grammar_ with a pen
like this?"

MCCLXXVI.--A SHORT JOURNEY.

"ZOUNDS, fellow!" exclaimed a choleric old gentleman to a very
phlegmatic matter-of-fact person, "I shall go out of my wits."--"Well,
you won't have _far to go_," said the phlegmatic man.

MCCLXXVII.--LORD HOWE.

ADMIRAL LORD HOWE, when a captain, was once hastily awakened in the
middle of the night by the lieutenant of the watch, who informed him
with great agitation that the ship was on fire near the magazine. "If
that be the case," said he, rising leisurely to put on his clothes, "we
shall soon know it." The lieutenant flew back to the scene of danger,
and almost instantly returning, exclaimed, "You need not, sir, be
afraid, the fire is extinguished."--"Afraid!" exclaimed Howe, "what do
you mean by that, sir? I never was afraid in my life"; and looking the
lieutenant full in the face, he added, "Pray, how does a man feel, sir,
when he is afraid? I need not ask how _he looks_."

MCCLXXVIII.--RATHER ETHEREAL.

DR. JOHN WILKINS wrote a work in the reign of Charles II., to show the
possibility of making a voyage to the moon. The Duchess of Newcastle,
who was likewise notorious for her vagrant speculations, said to him,
"Doctor, where am I to bait at in the _upward_ journey?"--"My lady,"
replied the doctor, "of all the people in the world, I never expected
that question from you; who have built so many _castles in the air_ that
you might lie every night at one of _your own_."

MCCLXXIX.--HENRY VIII.

THIS monarch, after the death of Jane Seymour, had some difficulty to
get another wife. His first offer was to the Duchess Dowager of Milan;
but her answer was, "She had bu