ose, who was very fat, first went over to Ireland, he one
evening strolled into the principal meat market of Dublin, where the
butchers, as usual, set up their usual cry of "What d'ye buy? What d'ye
buy?" Grose parried this for some time by saying he did not want
anything. At last, a butcher starts from his stall, and eyeing Grose's
figure, exclaimed, "Only _say_ you buy your meat of me, sir, and you
will make my fortune."

MCCXXVIII.--QUID PRO QUO.

AN Irish lawyer, famed for cross-examining, was, on one occasion,
completely silenced by a horse-dealer. "Pray, Mr. ----, you belong to a
very honest profession?"--"I can't say so," replied the witness; "for,
saving you _lawyers_, I think it the _most dishonest going_."

MCCXXIX.--SERVANTS.

IT was an observation of Elwes, the noted miser, that if you keep _one_
servant your work will be done; if you keep _two_, it will be half done;
and if you keep _three_, you will have to do it yourself.

MCCXXX.--PLAIN ENOUGH.

A GENTLEMAN, praising the personal charms of a very plain woman in the
presence of Foote, the latter said: "And why don't you lay claim to such
an accomplished beauty?"--"What right have I to her?" exclaimed the
gentleman. "Every right, by the law of nations," replied Foote; "every
right, as the _first discoverer_."

MCCXXXI.--A POSER.

AT Plymouth there is, or was, a small green opposite the Government
House, over which no one was permitted to pass. Not a creature was
allowed to approach, save the General's cow. One day old Lady D----,
having called at the General's, in order to make a short cut, bent her
steps across the lawn, when she was arrested by the sentry calling out,
and desiring her to return. "But," said lady D----, with a stately air,
"do you know who I am?"--"I don't know who you be, ma'am," replied the
immovable sentry, "but I knows you b'aint--you b'aint the _General's
cow_." So Lady D---- wisely gave up the argument, and went the other
way.

MCCXXXII.--TRUE CRITICISM.

A GENTLEMAN being prevailed upon to taste a lady's home-made wine, was
asked for an opinion of what he had tasted. "I always give a candid
one," said her guest, "where eating and drinking are concerned. _It is
admirable stuff to catch flies_."

MCCXXXIII.--ORIGIN OF THE TERM GROG.

THE British sailors had always been accustomed to drink their allowance
of brandy or rum clear, till Admiral Vernon ordered thos