said the doctor,
shaking his head, "this Madeira will never do; it is the cause of all
your suffering."--"Well, then," rejoined the gay incurable, "fill your
glass, for now we have found out _the cause_, the sooner _we get rid of
it_ the better."

MCCVI.--SEVERE.

A LADY asked a sailor whom she met, why a ship was called "_she_." The
son of Neptune replied that it was "because the _rigging_ cost more than
the hull."

MCCVII.--NO SACRIFICE.

A LINEN-DRAPER having advertised his stock to be sold under _prime
cost_, a neighbor observed that, "It was impossible, as he had never
_paid a farthing for it himself_."

MCCVIII.--SHARP BOY.

A MOTHER admonishing her son (a lad about seven years of age), told him
he should never _defer_ till to-morrow what he could do to-day. The
little urchin replied, "Then, mother, let's eat the remainder of the
plum-pudding _to-night_."

MCCIX.--EARLY BIRDS OF PREY.

A MERCHANT having been attacked by some thieves at five in the
afternoon, said: "Gentlemen, you _open shop early_ to-day."

MCCX.--JUDGMENT.

JAMES THE SECOND, when Duke of York, made a visit to Milton the poet,
and asked him, amongst other things, if he did not think the loss of his
sight a _judgment_ upon him for what he had written against his father,
Charles the First. Milton answered, "If your Highness think my loss of
sight a _judgment_ upon me, what do you think of your father's losing
his head?"

MCCXI.--ON A LADY WHO WAS PAINTED.

IT sounds like paradox,--and yet 'tis true,
You're like your picture, though it's not like you.

MCCXII.--RATHER A-CURATE.

IT is strange that the Church dignitaries, the further they advance in
their profession, become the more incorrigible; at least, before they
have gone many steps, they may be said to be _past a_ CURE.

MCCXIII.--MONEY'S WORTH.

A RICH upstart once asked a poor person if he had any idea of the
advantages arising from riches. "I believe they give a rogue _an
advantage_ over an honest man," was the reply.

MCCXIV.--THE RICHMOND HOAX.

ONE of the best practical jokes in Theodore Hook's clever "Gilbert
Gurney," is Daly's hoax upon the lady who had never been at Richmond
before, or, at least, knew none of the peculiarities of the place. Daly
desired the waiter, after dinner, to bring some "maids of honor"--those
cheesecakes for which the place has, time out of