ot likely that the
_other_ would stay behind.

[This is, no doubt, the original of the well-known passage in
Hudibras,--

"For Hudibras wore but one spur;
As wisely knowing, could he stir
To active trot one side of 's horse," &c.]

MCLXXX.--A PHILOSOPHICAL REASON.

A SCHOLAR was asked why a black hen laid a white egg. He answered,
"_Unum contrarium expellit alterum_."

MCLXXXI.--A PLAY UPON WORDS.

A POACHER was carried before a magistrate upon a charge of killing game
unlawfully in a nobleman's park, where he was caught in the fact. Being
asked what he had to say in his defence, and what proof he could bring
to support it, he replied, "May it please your worship, I know and
confess that I was found in his lordship's park, as the witness has told
you, but I can bring the whole parish to prove that, for the last thirty
years, it has been my _manner_."

MCLXXXII.--JEMMY GORDON.

JEMMY GORDON, the well-known writer of many a _theme_ and _declamation_
for _varmint-men_, alias _non-reading_ Cantabs, having been complimented
by an acquaintance on the result of one of his _themes_, to which the
prize of a certain college was awarded, quaintly enough replied, "It is
no great credit to be first in an _ass-race_."

MCLXXXIII.--SETTING UP AND SITTING DOWN.

SWIFT was one day in company with a young coxcomb, who, rising from his
chair, said, with a conceited and confident air, "I would have you to
know, Mr. Dean, I set up for a wit."--"Do you, indeed," replied the
Dean; "Then take my advice, and _sit down again_."

MCLXXXIV.--A SETTLED POINT.

"A REFORMED Parliament," exclaimed a Conservative the other day, "will
never do for this country."--"No! but an _unreformed_ would, and that
quickly," replied a bystander.

MCLXXXV.--JOLLY COMPANIONS.

A MINISTER in Aberdeenshire, sacrificed so often and so freely to the
jolly god, that the presbytery could no longer overlook his proceedings,
and summoned him before them to answer for his conduct. One of his
elders, and constant companion in his social hours, was cited as a
witness against him. "Well, John, did you ever see the Rev. Mr. C----
the worse of drink?"--"Weel, a wat no; I've monyatime seen him the
better o't, but I ne'er saw him the waur o't."--"But did you never see
him drunk?"--"That's what I'll ne'er see; for before he be _half
slockened_, I'm ay' _blind fu'_."

MCLXXXVI.--PAYI