e of the public money, since the
starling might well perform his office _by deputy_.

MCXII.--INCAPACITY.

A YOUNG ecclesiastic asked his bishop permission to preach. "_I_ would
permit you," answered the prelate; "but _nature_ will not."

MCXIII.--EPIGRAM.

(Suggested by hearing a debate in the House of Commons.)

TO wonder now at Balaam's ass were weak;
Is there a night that asses do not speak?

MCXIV.--VALUE OF NOTHING.

PORSON one day sent his gyp with a note to a certain Cantab, requesting
him to find the value of nothing. Next day he met his friend walking,
and stopping him, desired to know, "Whether he had succeeded?" His
friend answered, "Yes!"--"And what may it be?" asked Porson.
"_Sixpence_!" replied the Cantab, "which I gave the man for bringing the
note."

MCXV.--THE RIGHT ORGAN.

SPURZHEIM was lecturing on phrenology. "What is to be conceived the
organ of drunkenness?" said the professor. "The _barrel_-organ,"
interrupted an auditor.

MCXVI.--MIND YOUR POINTS.

A WRITER, in describing the last scene of "Othello," had this exquisite
passage: "Upon which the Moor, seizing _a bolster full of rage and
jealousy_, smothers her."

MCXVII.--REASONS FOR DRINKING.

DR. ALDRICH, of convivial memory, said there were five reasons for
drinking:--

"Good wine, a friend, or being dry,
Or lest you should be by and by,
Or any other reason why."

MCXVIII.--NO MATTER WHAT COLOR.

AN eminent Scottish divine met two of his own parishioners at the house
of a lawyer, whom he considered too sharp a practitioner. The lawyer
ungraciously put the question, "Doctor, these are members of your flock;
may I ask, do you look upon them as white sheep or as black sheep?"--"I
don't know," answered the divine dryly, "whether they are black or white
sheep; but I know, if they are long here, they are pretty sure to be
_fleeced_."

MCXIX.--AN ODD OCCURRENCE.

AT a wedding the other day one of the guests, who often is a little
absent-minded, observed gravely, "I have often remarked that there have
been _more_ women than men married this year."

MCXX.--A DANGEROUS GENERALIZATION.

A TUTOR bidding one of his pupils, whose name was Charles Howl, to make
some English verses, and seeing he put _teeth_ to rhyme with _feet_,
told him he was wrong there, as that was no proper rhyme. Charles
answered, "You have often tol