y brother's grounds, when, coming to
a gate, I had to climb over it, by which I came in contact with the
first bar, and have grazed the epidermis on my skin, attended with a
slight extravasation of blood."--"You may thank your lucky stars,"
replied Mr. Erskine, "that your brother's _gate_ was not as _lofty_ as
your _style_, or you must have broken your neck."

MCXXVI.--THE ABBEY CHURCH AT BATH.

THESE walls, so full of monuments and bust,
Show how Bath waters serve to lay the dust.

MCXXVII.--TOO MUCH AND TOO LITTLE.

TWO friends meeting after an absence of some years, during which time
the one had increased considerably in bulk, and the other still
resembled only the "effigy of a man,"--said the stout gentleman, "Why,
Dick, you look as if you had not had a dinner since I saw you
last."--"And you," replied the other, "look as if you _had been at
dinner ever since_."

MCXXVIII.--SHARP, IF NOT PLEASANT.

AN arch boy was feeding a magpie when a gentleman in the neighborhood,
who had an impediment in his speech, coming up, said, "T-T-T-Tom, can
your mag t-t-talk yet?"--"Ay, sir," says the boy, "better than _you_, or
I'd wring his _head off_."

MCXXIX.--AN EAST INDIAN CHAPLAINCY.

THE best history of a serpent we ever remember to have read, was of one
killed near one of our settlements in the East Indies; in whose body
they _found the chaplain_ of the garrison, all in black, the Rev. Mr.
----, and who, after having been missing for above a week, was
discovered in this very inconvenient situation.

MCXXX.--CONSTANCY.

CURRAN, hearing that a stingy and slovenly barrister had started for the
Continent with a shirt and a guinea, observed, "He'll not _change_
either till he comes back."

MCXXXI.--EPIGRAM.

(On hearing a prosing harangue from a certain Bishop.)

WHEN he holds forth, his reverence doth appear
So lengthily his subject to pursue,
That listeners (out of patience) often fear
He has indeed _eternity in view_.

MCXXXII.--SPEAKING OF SAUSAGES.

MR. SMITH passed a pork-shop the other day,--Mr. Smith whistled. The
moment he did this, every sausage "wagged its tail." As a note to this,
we would mention that the day before he _lost a Newfoundland dog_, that
weighed sixty-eight pounds.

MCXXXIII.--BRINGING HIS MAN DOWN.

ROGERS used to relate this story: An Englishman and a Frenchman fought a
duel