BREACH.

A LAIRD OF LOGAN sold a horse to an Englishman, saying, "You buy him as
you see him; but he's an _honest_ beast." The purchaser took him home.
In a few days he stumbled and fell, to the damage of his own knees and
his rider's head. On this the angry purchaser remonstrated with the
laird, whose reply was, "Well, sir, I told you he was an honest beast;
many a time has he _threatened_ to come down with me, and I kenned he
would _keep his word_ some day."

MCI.--"YOU'LL GET THERE BEFORE I CAN TELL YOU."

MR. NEVILLE, formerly a fellow of Jesus College, was distinguished, by
many innocent singularities, uncommon shyness, and stammering of speech,
but when he used _bad_ words he could talk fluently. In one of his
solitary rambles a countryman met him and inquired the road.
"Tu--u--rn," says Neville, "to--to--to--" and so on for a minute or two;
at last he burst out, "_Confound it, man! you'll get there before I can
tell you_!"

MCII.--ON MR. MILTON, THE LIVERY STABLE-KEEPER.

TWO Miltons, in separate ages were born,
The cleverer Milton 'tis clear we have got;
Though the other had talents the world to adorn,
_This_ lives by his _mews_, which the other could not!

MCIII.--A LONG RESIDENCE.

THE following complacent Scottish remark upon Bannockburn was made to a
splenetic Englishman, who had said to a Scottish countryman that no man
of taste would think of remaining any time in such a country as
Scotland. To which the canny Scot replied, "Tastes differ; I'se tak' ye
to a place no far frae Stirling, whaur thretty thousand o' yer
countrymen ha' been for five hunder years, an' they've nae thocht _o'
leavin' yet_."

MCIV.--SPARE THE ROD.

A SCHOOLBOY being asked by the teacher how he should flog him, replied,
"If you please, sir, I should like to have it upon the _Italian
system_--the heavy strokes up-wards, and the down ones light."

MCV.--POLITICAL SINECURE.

CURRAN, after a debate which gave rise to high words, put his hand to
his heart, and declared that he was the trusty _guardian_ of his own
honor. Upon which Sir Boyle Roche congratulated his honorable friend on
the snug little _sinecure_ he had discovered for himself.

MCVI.--EPIGRAM ON A PETIT-MAITRE PHYSICIAN.

WHEN Pennington for female ills indites,
Studying alone not what, but how he writes,
The ladies, as his graceful form they scan,
Cry, with ill-omene