a barrister that an
apothecary is to a physician, with this difference, that your lawyer
does not deal in _scruples_."

MLXXX.--GAMBLING.

I NEVER by chance hear the rattling of dice that it doesn't sound to me
like the funeral bell of a whole family.--D.J.

MLXXXI.--SWEEPS.

WE feel for climbing boys as much as anybody can do; but what is a
climbing boy in a chimney to a full-grown suitor in the Master's
office!

MLXXXII.--SELF-CONCEIT.

HAIL, charming power of self-opinion!
For none are slaves in thy dominion;
Secure in thee, the mind's at ease,
The _vain_ have only _one_ to please.

MLXXXIII.--JAMES SMITH AND JUSTICE HOLROYD.

FORMERLY, it was customary, on emergencies, for the Judges to swear
affidavits at their dwelling-houses. Smith was desired by his father to
attend a Judge's chambers for that purpose; but being engaged to dine in
Russell Square, at the next house to Mr. Justice Holroyd's, he thought
he might as well save himself the disagreeable necessity of leaving the
party at eight, by despatching his business at once, so, a few minutes
before six, he boldly knocked at the Judge's and requested to speak to
him on particular business. The Judge was at dinner, but came down
without delay, swore the affidavit, and then gravely asked what was the
pressing necessity that induced our friend to disturb him at that hour.
As Smith told his story, he raked his invention for a lie, but finding
none fit for the purpose, he blurted out the truth: "The fact is, my
Lord, I am engaged to _dine_ at the next house--and--and----"--"And,
sir, you thought you might as well _save_ your own dinner by _spoiling_
mine?"--"Exactly so, my Lord; but----"--"Sir, I wish you a good
evening." Though Smith brazened the matter out, he said he never was
more frightened.

MLXXXIV.--A GOOD INVESTMENT.

AN English journal lately contained the following announcement: "_To be
sold_, one hundred and thirty lawsuits, the property of an attorney
retiring from business. N.B. The clients are rich and obstinate."

MLXXXV.--THE AGED YOUNG LADY.

AN old lady, being desirous to be thought younger than she was, said
that she was but _forty_ years old. A student who sat near observed,
that it must be quite true, for he had heard her repeat the same for the
last _ten years_.

MLXXXVI--KEEPING TIME.

A GENTLEMAN at a musical party asked a friend, in a whis