ng Willie."

* * * * *

PLAYWRIGHT--"There is a great climax in the last act. Just as two
burglars climb in the kitchen window the clock strikes one;
then----"

MANAGER CONN--"Be more explicit. Which one did the clock strike?"

* * * * *

"I sent a dollar last week" said the Good thing, "in answer to
that advertisement offering a method of saving one-half my gas
bills."

"And you got----"

"A printed slip directing me to paste them in a scrap-book."

* * * * *

"Did any of you ever see an elephant's skin?" inquired a teacher
of a class of youths.

"I have," exclaimed one.

"Where?" asked the teacher.

"On the elephant," replied the boy.

* * * * *

"Curious, isn't it?"

"What?"

"A man's handwriting is never so bad that his name can't be read
when signed to a check."

* * * * *

"That cook would make a good baseball player."

"Why so?"

"A fly got into the batter when she was serving the griddles, and
the way she caught that fly from the batter was a sight to rush
an umpire into an early grave."

* * * * *

When you see a young man cleaning a girl's bicycle, they are
engaged; but when you see the operation reversed, they are
married.

* * * * *

SHE (approvingly)--You won her hand, then?

HE (rather glumly)--Humph--I presume so. I'm under her thumb.

* * * * *

"What is the difference between the admission to a dime museum
and the admission to Sing Sing?"

"Don't know. What?"

"One is ten cents and the other is sentence."

* * * * *

"A man at the hotel wanted to bet that Corbett would knock out
Jeffries."

"Who took him up?"

"The elevator boy, I think."

* * * * *

Why is a railroad train like a bedbug?

It runs over the sleepers.

* * * * *

CALLER--Wonder if I can see your mother, little boy? Is she
engaged?

LITTLE BOY--Engaged? Whatcher givin' us? She's married.

* * * * *

"I must admit," said the mannish girl, "that I'm very fond of
men's clothes. You don't like them, do you?"

"Yes. I do," replied the girly girl, frankly, "when there's a man
in them."