irst letter, take away my second letter, take away
all my letters and I am still the same. What am I? The postman.

* * * * *

"You have been losing flesh lately, haven't you?" "Yes, I've been
shaving myself."

* * * * *

An emblem of tenuity
We witness every day;
Behold the corset-and you'll see
The whale-bone comes to STAY.

* * * * *

HE--Did you ever see anything at so-called bargain sales that was
really cheap?

SHE--Yes; the look on the man's face who accompanied his wife to
one of them.

* * * * *

TEACHER OF DRAWING CLASS--"Willie, tell me how you would make a
maltese cross."

WILLIE--"Step on his tail, mum."

* * * * *

GUEST--"Look here, waiter, do you call this a spring chicken? By
the lord Harry, it is as tough as a mother-in-law's tongue."

WAITER--"Yes, sir, I suppose it was hatched from a hardboiled
egg!"

* * * * *

"About the only time my tailor gives his customers regular fit,"
said Buttons, "is when they neglect to pay their bills."

* * * * *

A man with the heart disease is about the only chap who desires a
"regular beat" for a bosom friend.

* * * * *

The landlord came to Mrs. O'Hooligan on the first day of May
last, and said: "See here, my foine loidy, I am going to raise
your rent." "Oh thanks be to the Lord," said Mrs. O'Hooligan,
"I'm so glad that you intend to raise it for me as Dan aint'
working and I'm nather able nor willing to raise it myself."

* * * * *

HE--The bride looks radiant, as brides usually do.

SHE--Yes, but the bridegroom appears rather run down.

HE--Run down eh? That's just it; caught after a long chase.

* * * * *

SHE--You look as though you had raised Ned at your club last
night.

HE--I did; and, what is worse, he raised me back.

* * * * *

FRANKLIN--"Do you know, I started in life as a barefooted boy?"

HARDY--"Well, I'll tell you I wasn't born with shoes on."

* * * * *

Before marriage, women wants tenderness. In a little while she is
satisfied with legal tender.

* * * * *

PAT-