Gotabug--I should say so. I've smelt eggs that had more strength
than a hundred pounds of beef.

* * * * *

A sporty young fellow named Phipps
Last night went to view the eclipse.
The moon looked so queer.
He set up a cheer,
The truth was he'd been taking nips.

* * * * *

"For mercy sake, don't put me near old Billions!" said Mrs.
Lookyoung to her friend.

"Why not?" said the other. "He's awfully interesting."

"I know it," said Mrs. Lookyoung, "but I never sit next to him at
dinner but that he blurts out something like, 'You remember back
in the old pioneer days!'"

* * * * *

Mary had a little waist
Where waists were meant to grow,
And everywhere the fashions went
Her waist was sure to go.

* * * * *

"This is an interesting clock, Miss," said the salesman, "you
really should have one, especially if you're bothered with
tiresome callers."

"It's merely a cuckoo clock, isn't it?" asked Miss May Pechis.

"Yes, but beginning at 10 P.M., instead of saying 'cuck-koo'
every quarter hour it yells: 'Go home! Go home!'"

* * * * *

Mike--Yus, poor Sullivan is dead. He hadn't got an enemy in the
world.

Pat--What did he die of?

Mike--Oh; he wur killed in a foight.

* * * * *

"You shouldn't drink your whiskey without water."

"Why not?"

"You'll ruin the coat of your stomach."

"Oh, well-it's an old coat, anyhow."

* * * * *

"Why do they make those Oriental pipes with bowls as big as water
pitchers?" asked the inquisitive girl.

"Those," answered the wise woman, "are for men who have promised
that they will confine their smoking to one pipe after each
meal."

* * * * *

The detective at the boarding house table having satisfied
himself that nobody had observed him, folded up his magnifying
glass and put it back in his pocket.

"Yes," he said to himself, "they've got the same girl they had
when I was here two years ago. I recognize her thumb print in the
butter."

* * * * *

"Pa, what branches did you take when you went to school?"

"I never went to high school, son, but when I attended the little
log school-house they used mostly hickory and bee