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ng." "That's exactly what I am. I bet five dollars it would rain yesterday, and it didn't!" * * * * * "Can you swim, little boy?" "Yes, sir." "Where did you learn?" "In the water, sir." * * * * * MILLIE--"I wonder what the holes in a porous plaster are for?" WILLIE--"Why, they're for the pain to come out through, of course!" * * * * * "It's a good idea to make light of your troubles." "I do," replied Happigo; "whenever a creditor sends me a letter I burn it." * * * * * "What have you got to say for yourself?" "Jes dis, suh; I wants a liar to defend me." "You mean a lawyer?" "Yes, suh; I knowed I most had it!" * * * * * "So her second husband is a tenor?" "Yes; she says her first was a bass deceiver!" * * * * * "I cannot play second fiddle to any one." "Then be my beau!" * * * * * JIMSON--Now, you wouldn't marry me, would you? MISS SEARS--Most certainly not; but why do you ask such a question? JIMSON--Just to decide a bet. * * * * * CLARA--"He gave me an army-and-navy kiss." MAUD--"What kind is that?" CLARA--"Oh, rapid fire--sixty a minute!" * * * * * "Young man, don't you know you ought to lay something by for a rainy day?" "I do; my rubbers." * * * * * THE ONLY REMEDY--"Mamma, I dess you'll have to turn the hose on me." "Why, dear?" "'Tause I'se dot my 'tocking on wrong side out." * * * * * HE--"I saw you out driving yesterday with a gentleman. He appeared to have only one arm; is that all he has?" SHE--"Oh, no; the other arm was around somewhere." * * * * * "Why are pugilists like chickens?" "Because they live on 'scraps!'" * * * * * MAY--I wonder what the men do at the club? PAMELA--From what Jack says I guess they play with the kitty most of the time. * * * * * SWATTER--I see you are mentioned in one of the books just published. PRIMLY--Indeed! What book? SWATTER--The directory. * * * * * "Do you go to church to h
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