r
having a French count for a son-in-law."

* * * * *

The fate of Lot's wife
Was all her own fault;
She first turned to "rubber,"
And then turned to salt.

* * * * *

I was in the depot restaurant of one of the great railroads, and
was asked why am I standing while drinking my coffee. All the
rest of us sit down.

I replied, solemnly, that "I was always told to stand for the
weak."

* * * * *

He used to send her roses;
He sent them every hour,
But now they're married and he sends
Her home a cauliflower.

* * * * *

JOHN--I went into a restaurant to-day. The lemon pie that I had
was a peach.

TOM--That's nothing, I went into a saloon and had no money, so I
let the beer settle.

* * * * *

Her face was happy,
His face was stern;
Her hand was in his'n,
His'n was in her'n.

* * * * *

JACK--"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."

FRED--"That's nothing, my wife goes through my trousers and never
misses a dime."

* * * * *

A man wanted a ticket to New York, and only had a $2 bill. It
required $3 to get the ticket. He took the $2 bill to a pawnshop,
pawned it for $1.50. On his way back to the depot he met a
friend, to whom he sold the pawn ticket for $1.50. That gave him
$3. Now, who's out that dollar?

* * * * *

"Is a howling dog a sign of death?"
Said Doolittle to Dunn.
"Of course it is, if the dog will wait
Until I get my gun."

* * * * *

"No, indeed," she said, "I can never be your wife. Why, I had
half a dozen offers before yours."

"Huh!" rejoined the young man in the case. "That's nothing. I
proposed to at least a dozen girls before I met you."

* * * * *

There was a young woman named Hannah,
Who put on a great many airs,
She stepped on a peel of banana,
And now she's laid up for repairs.

* * * * *

"What sort of labor is best paid in this country?" asked the
English tourist.

"Field labor," answered the native American.

"Is that a fact?" queried the Englishman, who was inclined to be
a bit