like the charity bawl," said the nurse, as the
babies in the orphan asylum began to yell.

* * * * *

He went on a lark,
So his wife did remark,
And some angry words, too, did she mutter.
On a lark he went out,
Of that fact there's no doubt,
But he came in, alas! on a shutter.

* * * * *

CONDON--Have you been cured of that last attack of malaria?

DENBY--Oh, yes, Doctress Anna Curem knocked it silly. But her
treatment left me with a worse disease than malaria ever was.

"You don't say so!"

"Yes, sir; I've got an incurable case of heart disease now."

* * * * *

For years she'd heard her husband sadly say:
"Can't we have pies like mother used to bake?"
At last she cried: "Of course we can, you Jay,
When you make dough that papa used to make."

* * * * *

YANKEE--"I say, Britisher, can you spell horse?"

ENGLISHMAN--"'Orse? Why, certainly. It honly takes a haitch and a
ho and a har and a hess and a he to spell 'orse."

* * * * *

"What is the meaning of the saying that a man shall earn his
bread in the sweat of his brow?" asked a boy in a New York
school.

"Have you never observed a man working on a warm day?" asked the
teacher.

"No, don't think I ever saw one."

"What does your father do on a right hot day?"

"He goes in bathing out at Coney Island."

"What is your father's business?"

"He is a walking delegate."

* * * * *

A tramp asked a farmer for something to eat
One day as he chanced there to stop,
The kind hearted farmer went out to the shed
And gave him an axe and feelingly said:
"Now just help yourself to a chop."

* * * * *

"Yes" said a landlord, sadly, whose tenant had made a moonlight
"flitting," "appearances are deceitful; but disappearances are
still more so."

* * * * *

Sailors are not fond of agricultural implements usually, but they
always welcome the cry of "Land-hoe."

* * * * *

Some men divide their lives between trying to forget and trying
to recover from the effects of trying to forget.

* * * * *

"Castles in the air are walled in by