dreary?"
"Not so, my love," he said, "Not so;
But man and wife are _one_, you know;
And when _alone_ I'm weary!"

* * * * *

A man stole a harness the other day and never left a trace.

* * * * *

"Why does a donkey eat thistles?" asked a Texas teacher of one of
the largest boys in the class.

"Because he is an ass, I reckon."

* * * * *

"Doing anything now, Bill?"

"Oh, yes, I'm kept busy all the time."

"Ah, glad to hear it. What are you doing?"

"Looking for a job."

* * * * *

"Jones caught the hay fever from dancing with a grass widow."

* * * * *

Of all the saws
That I ever saw saw,
I never saw a saw
Saw like this saw saws.

* * * * *

"I see villainy in your face," said a judge to a prisoner.

"May it please your honor," said the latter, "that is a personal
reflection."

* * * * *

Don't pen missives to your best girl on postal cards. She may
have suspicion that you do not care two cents for her.

* * * * *

"Can you give me a front room on the first floor?" asked a
travelling man of the recently installed clerk.

"Can I give it to you?"

"Yes, that is what I remarked."

"That's queer," said the clerk, "you're the fourth man to-day who
thought I owned this hotel."

* * * * *

"I know a man who says he can't sit down and he can't stand up."

"Well, if he tells the truth, he lies."

* * * * *

Mirrors reflect without speaking and women often speak without
reflecting.

* * * * *

A mechanic his labor will often discard,
If the rate of his pay he dislikes:
But a clock-and its case is uncommonly hard--
Will continue to work though it _strikes_!

* * * * *

"I don't think my religion will be any obstacle to your church,"
he urged; "I am a spiritualist."

"I am afraid it will," she replied "Pa is a prohibitionist, you
know."

* * * * *

"One day in the dining-car, the boy across the aisle got to
laughing so, he couldn't stop. I said to his mother, 'that boy
needs a spanking.' She said, 'well,