oking for work?"

"That's nothing. How about the industrious safe breaker doing
time for making money?"

* * * * *

Don't take a bull by the horns; take him by the tail, then you
can let go without getting some one to help you.

* * * * *

"Women, my boy," said a parent to his son, "are a delusion and a
snare." "It is queer," murmured the boy, "people will hug a
delusion." And while the old man looked queerly at him, the young
man hunted up his roller-skates and went out to be snared.

* * * * *

"Would you," said the reporter who gets novel interviews, "tell
me what book helped you most in life?"

After a thoughtful pause, the great man answered: "My bank-book."

* * * * *

"You were thrown out?" remarked the ash barrel. "That's what you
get for being crooked."

"The crookedness, is not my fault," said the nail. "I was driven
to it by a woman."

* * * * *

"What relation is a door-step to a door-mat?"

"What relation?"

"A step-farther."

* * * * *

GUIDE--This is a dogwood tree.

STRANGER--How can you tell?

GUIDE--By its bark.

* * * * *

Some of us have more ups and downs in this world than others, but
when we get to the cemetery, we will all be on the dead level.

* * * * *

MRS. POWELL--"I have such an indulgent husband!"

MRS. CAMERON (spitefully)--"Yes, so Justin tells me, but he
sometimes indulges too much, doesn't he?"

* * * * *

"They caught the burglars that robbed the hotel last night."

"How?"

"They jumped on the scales and gave themselves a weigh."

* * * * *

"You own your own house, don't you?"

"I used to."

"Have you sold it?"

"No, I haven't sold it."

"Then how is it you don't own it?"

"Well, you see, we have company most of the time."

* * * * *

"Mike, d' I ever tell ye the story about the dirty window?"

"You did not. Tell me about it."

"No use--you couldn't see through it."

* * * * *

A lady noticed a boy sprinkling salt on the sidewalk to take off
the ice, and remarked to a friend, pointing to the salt:

"Now, that's true benevolence."

"No,