y every man gets
his living."

"A vainglorious man" was bragging that his father and uncle had
founded a certain hospital. One answered, "'Tis true, but yet know
that your father and your uncle were the mere confounders
(co-founders) of that hospital you speak of."

It was said that corn was a quarrelsome creature, because it rose by
the blade, and fell by the ears with those that cut it.

A tailor was commended for his dexterity, whereupon it was remarked
that tailors had their business at their fingers' ends.

Colliers and mine-workers, it was said, should be well acquainted
with all the philosophical secrets of the earth, because they had a
deeper knowledge of it than any others.

"Of all knaves there's the greatest hope of a cobbler, for though he
be never so idle a fellow, yet he is still mending."

"A smith," said one, "is the most pragmatical fellow under the sun,
for he hath always many irons in the fire."

The proverb, "Wit bought is better than wit taught," had added to it
the comment, "because he that never bought any is but a natural wit,"
embodying the play on the word "natural," the early name for "fool."

Tall men are the most happy, because they are nearer heaven than
other men. They should also be great politicians, because they have
extraordinary reach.

Of all soldiers musketeers are the most lazy, for they are always at
rest.

It is necessary that some rich men be dunces, because pretenders to
learning may get preferment, and good wits will be able to help
themselves.

Carpenters are the most civil men because they never do their
business without a rule.

A hangman is the most trusty of friends, for, if he once have to do
with a man, he will see him hanged before he shall want money or
anything else.

Physicians have the best of it. If they do well, the world proclaims
it; if ill, the earth covers it.

A man and his wife were fighting. One was asked why he did not part
them, and replied, that he "had been better bred than to part man and
wife."

Tobacconists (users of tobacco) would endure war well, for they would
never be stifled with fire and smoke.

Fiddlers are very unfortunate in their calling, for they never do
anything but it is against the hair (fiddlestring).

Smiths are the most irregular of handicrafts men, because they never
think that they are better employed than when they are addicted to
their vices.

It is no great matter what a drunkard says in his drink, fo