to it.

Why is the old elm on Boston Common like the ladies of Boston?
Because they are well hooped.

How long should a lady's crinoline be made? A little over two feet.

Why are ladies who wear large crinolines ugly? Because they are not
even passable.

Why are washerwomen unreasonable? They expect soft water when it
rains hard.

Why are they the greatest of coquettes? They wring men's ruffled
bosoms.

CHAPTER VI

GEOGRAPHICAL CONUNDRUMS

What would happen if a colored waiter dropped a platter with a turkey
upon it? The humiliation of Africa, the fall of Turkey, the
destruction of China, and the overflowing of Greece.

What river is that which runs between two seas? The Thames--between
Chel-sea and Batter-sea.

When is the river Thames good for the eyes? When it is high (eye)
water.

Which are the lightest men--Scotchmen, Irishmen, or Englishmen? In
Ireland there are men of Cork; in Scotland men of Ayr; but in
England, on the Thames, there are lighter men.

What city of the world do artists make the most drawings of? Cork.

What islands would form a cheerful luncheon party? Friendly,
Society, a Sandwich, and Madeira.

Which one of the United States is the largest and most popular? The
state of matrimony.

Why is a young man engaged to a young lady like a man sailing for a
port in France? Because he is bound to Havre (have her).

How many young ladies does it take to reach from New York to
Philadelphia? About one hundred, because a Miss is as good as a mile.

Why is Great Britain like Palestine? Because it's the Holy Land
(whole island).

If a man and his wife go to Europe together, what is the difference
in their mode of traveling? He goes abroad, and she goes along.

Why are the Germans like quinine and gentian? Because they are
two-tonics (Teutonics).

What is the most difficult river on which to get a boat? Arno,
because there Arno boats there.

Why should we pity the young Esquimaux? Because each one of them is
born to blubber,--and ever to be-wail fishing, and walking with his
snows frozen.

Why was the country of Phoenicia like an automobile? Because it had a
Tyre on its border.

Why is the Empress of the French always in bad company? Because she
is ever surrounded by Paris-ites.

What sea would a man like most to be in on a wet day? Adriatic (a dry
attic).

How many Spanish noblemen does it take to make an Englishman run?
Ten-dons.

What's the difference between an