air like an article for soldiers'
comfort? Because it is a blank hit (blanket).

Why is an honest poor man like a dishonest bankrupt man? Because
they both fail to become rich.

Why is a beautiful woman at her marriage festival like one on
horseback? Because she holds a bridal reign (bridle rein).

Why are the men appointed to wind up the affairs of a bank whose
treasurer has defaulted, as bad as the treasurer himself? Because the
receiver is as bad as the thief.

Why do architects make excellent actors? Because they are good at
drawing houses.

Why is a blush an anomaly? Because a woman who blushes is admired for
her cheek.

Why is a steel-trap like the small-pox? Because it is catching.

Why do girls kiss each other, and men not? Because girls have nothing
better to kiss, and men have.

If I kiss a lady by mistake, what weapon do I use? A blunderbuss.

Why would young ladies of the present day make good pugilists?
Because they are eager to enter the ring at sixteen, and willing to
make a match with a man twice their own size any day.

When is a man a muff? When he holds a lady's hand without squeezing
it.

When is a man a spoon? When he touches a lady's two lips without
kissing them.

How would you measure a lover's sincerity? By his sighs (size).

When is music like vegetables? When there is two beats (beets) to a
measure.

Why is the _Outlook_ like a man of fourscore? Because it's weekly.

Why is a false oath like a trial in the criminal court? Because it is
per-jury.

Why are doctors always wicked men? Because the worse people are the
more they are with them.

What sort of music should a girl sing whose voice is cracked and
broken? Pieces.

What is better than an indifferent singer in a drawing room after
dinner? A different one.

What animals always have gaiters on? Alligators.

What nation has always overcome in the end? Determination.

Why should you never sleep in a railway train? The train runs over
sleepers.

What most frequently becomes a woman? A little girl.

What is an Englishman's notion of woman's mission? Sub-mission.

What remedy does an Irishman take for a scolding wife? He takes an
e-lix-ir (he licks her).

What is the difference between a cloud of rain and a beaten child?
One pours with rain, the other roars with pain.

What did the sunbeam say to the violet? "Wilt thou?" And she wilted.

What rose is "born to blush unseen"? Neg-roes.

What relation is a loaf