er lead a sedentary life? Because he's always
pursuing his studies.

Why are bishops like superannuated washerwomen? Because they wear
lawn dresses (were laundresses).

Why can no clergyman have a wooden leg? Because, although a chaplain
may be a plain chap, a parson can't be a lame un (layman).

If thirty-two degrees is freezing point, what is squeezing point? Two
in the shade.

What is that which becomes too young the longer it exists? A
portrait.

What is that which we often catch yet never see? A passing remark.

What is the geometrical form of an escaped parrot? A polygon (polly
gone).

Why is a lamp like a house? Because it has a chimney.

Why is the wall going to decay? Because you can see its molding.

How does a tipsy man generally look? Dizzy-pated.

At what age should a man marry? At the parsonage.

Why is a committee of inquiry like a cannon? It makes a report.

What is the most popular paper at a summer resort? Flypaper.

What coat is finished without buttons and put on wet? A coat of
paint.

Why do you think that a judge of the criminal court is looked upon
with contempt? Because every day the worst of scoundrels are set
before him.

Why is a book like a king? It has many pages.

What roof never keeps out the wet? The roof of the mouth.

What fruit is on a cent? A date.

Why are good women like ivy? Because the greater the ruin, the closer
they cling.

Why are bad women like ivy? Because the closer they cling the greater
the ruin.

ECHOES

What must be done to conduct a newspaper right? Write.

What is necessary to a farmer to assist him? System.

What would give a blind man the greatest delight? Light.

What is the best advice to give a justice of the peace? Peace.

Who commit the greatest abominations? Nations.

Who is the greatest terrifier? Fire.

What made the tart tart? Because she didn't want the baker to bake
her.

CHAPTER X

CHARADES, STORIES, AND CONTESTS

My first makes company,
My second shuns company,
My third assembles company,
My whole puzzles company.
Co-nun-drum.

My first is a reflection, my second not so much, and my whole none at
all. Thoughtless.

I lived upon my own substance and died when I had devoured myself. A
candle.

I have hands, but no fingers; no bed, but a tick. A clock.

You can hang me on the wall, but if you take me down, you cannot hang
me up again. Wall paper.

In my fi