o, and when to
come; yet cares not whether we attend or not; still, thus indifferent
to our fate, often strikes a heavy blow to urge us on, and we feel no
resentment when the reproof is given? A clock.

Why is the dove a very cautious little dear? Because he minds his
peas and coos.

When is a baby like a breakfast cup? When it's a tea thing
(teething).

Why is a chicken served to a minister like a theological student?
Because it is about to enter the ministry.

What animal keeps the best time? A watch dog.

When is a young lady's cheek not a cheek? When it is a little pale
(pail).

When is a nose not a nose? When it is a little reddish (radish).

What sort of a face does the auctioneer like best? One that is
for-bidding.

When is a straight field not a straight field? When it is a rye field
(a wry).

What is it that walks with its head downward? A nail in a shoe.

Why are the hours from one to twelve like good Christians? Because
they are always on the watch.

Why is a hen walking across the road like a conspiracy? Because it is
a foul proceeding.

What sort of sympathy would you rather be without? You don't want to
be pitted by the small-pox.

What is that which we often return but never borrow? Thanks.

What animals are always seen at a funeral? Black kids.

What did the pistol ball say to the wounded duelist? "I hope I give
satisfaction."

Why is horse racing a necessity? Because it is a matter of course.

What is a young lady who refuses you? Two no-ing by half.

Why is a note of hand like a rosebud? Because it is matured by
falling due (dew).

What games do the waves play at? At pitch and toss.

What fish is most valued by a loving wife? Her-ring.

Why is a solar eclipse like a woman whipping her boy? Because it's a
hiding of the son (sun).

When does a man's hair resemble a packing box? When it stands on end.

Why is a woman who tries to drive a balky horse like a successful
actress? Because she's the leading lady.

Why is a mad bull an animal of convivial disposition? Because he
offers a horn to every one he meets.

When is silence likely to get wet? When it reigns.

How do you make a Maltese cross? Pull its tail.

What is a waste (waist) of time? The middle of an hour glass.

Who is the most popular preacher? Jack in the pulpit. Why? Because he
is silent.

Why is a muddy road a guardian of the public safety? Because it
reduces the speed of autos.

Why does a student nev