he right cheek, should we refuse
to turn towards them the left cheek also? Because they have too much
"cheek" already.

Why is Major General McClellan like Charles Dickens? Because he is
the author of "Great Expectations."

Why are Jeff Davis's letters of marque like secrets? Because they are
for privateers (private ears).

Why was Cain an enemy of President Lincoln? Because he hated Abe L.

Why is our army like an entry clerk? Because it is ready to charge.

Why is President Lincoln like a mariner on a desolate shore? Because
he looks to Seward (seaward).

How does the Copyright Law affect the war? It gives us the right to
_enter_, according to act of Congress, all the rebel States.

Why cannot rebels ever dress well? Because they have proved, by
deserting their flag, that they have no eye for colors.

Why was the capture of Fort Hatteras like an English nobleman's
mansion? Because there was a Butler engaged in it.

Why will Americans have more cause to remember the letter S than any
other letter in the alphabet? Because it is the beginning of
secession and the end of Jeff Davis.

Why should it not be loyal for a Union lady to accept a token of
regard from a lover at the present time? Because it would be
receiving a Beauregard (beau-regard).

Why is the rebellion like the world? Because it is coming to an end.

Why has Massachusetts done more towards the war loan than any other
State? Because she has sent even her Banks.

Why are two lovers pledged to each other like the Federal Army before
Washington? Because they have lately had an engagement and go in
strong for the Union.

Why is a hen looking into a rotten pumpkin like the Southern
Confederacy? Because she is trying to see seed (secede).

Why is the city of Washington like a despairing old maid? Because she
has looked long and in vain for a Beauregard.

What one sentence expresses the wish of both the Southern Confederacy
and the United States government? Let us alone (a loan).

What route should our army take at the present? The rout of the
enemy.

Why is a man just knighted like a nutmeg? Because he's grated.

Why are lamps like the Thames? Because they have lighters.

Why is a sedan chair like the world? Because it's between two poles.

What is the most favorable season to have your letters from India?
The season which brings the monsoon.

How do you know that the Queen approves of the penny postage? Because
she gives her countenance