cals? They cut and run.

Why is a Bostonian's brain like a book of conundrums? Because it is
full of notions.

Why is a fortunate man like a straw in the water? Because he goes on
swimmingly.

Why is the man who falls in the kennel approved of? Because he's
add-mir'd.

Why is an organ an enemy to religion? Because it stands against the
communion.

Why are sharpers like sparrows? Because they feather their nests.

Why is a looking-glass very complaisant? Because it always does as
the company does.

Why is a newspaper like a lame man? Because it generally lies.

Why is a staircase like a back-biter? Because its rail's against you.

Why is a high wind like a dumb man in distress? Because it makes
moving signs.

Why are sheep the most dissipated of animals? They _gambol_ all their
youth, live by the turf, the best of them are blacklegs, and they get
fleeced at last.

Why is a bald-headed man like a hunting dog? He makes a little _hare_
go a great way.

Why is a horse that is constantly rid, though never fed, never
starved? Because he's never without a bit.

Why is a sleepy servant like a warming pan? Because he's in bed
before his master.

Why is a rich farmer like a man with bad teeth? Because he has a good
many achers.

Why is an apple like a good song? Because it is encored.

Why is an eyelid like the wadding to a gun? Because it covers the
ball.

Why is a smith like a ferryman? Because his business is to work ore.

Why is a garter like the gates of a slaughter house? Because it holds
the stock in (stocking).

Why is a holly bush like a corpse? Because it is or will be berry'd.

Why is an apron like peas? Because it is gathered.

Why, when a very fat man gets squeezed coming out of the opera, does
it make him complimentary to the ladies? Because the pressure makes
him flatter.

Why are a couple of first-rate breech-loaders like two beautiful
young ladies? Because they're pair-o'-guns (paragons).

Why is a woman's beauty like a gold coin? Because when once changed
it soon goes.

What herb is most injurious to a lady's beauty? Thyme.

When is a superb woman like bread? When given as a toast.

Why is a lover's heart like a whale? Because it's a secreter (sea
creatur') of great sighs (size).

How many wives are you allowed by the Prayer-book? Sixteen, viz.:
Fo(u)r better, fo(u)r worser, fo(u)r richer, fo(u)r poorer; total,
sixteen.

Why is paper like a beggar? Because it is composed of