e remains? Whole-some.

Why is coal the most contradictory article known to commerce? Because
when purchased it goes to the cellar (seller).

What is the difference between a baby and a shipwrecked sailor? One
clings to its ma, and the other to his (s)par.

Why is a lance like the moon? Both are the glory of the knight.

When can you carry water in a sieve? When it is ice.

Why is a lame dog like the side of a mountain? It is a slow pup.

What is larger than a nutmeg? A nutmeg-grater.

When is it easiest to read? In the autumn when Nature turns the
leaves.

Why do women seek husbands named William? That they may have a _Will_
of their own.

Why is a steamboat a good place to sleep in? It leaves a-wake behind.

Who are the best astronomers? The stars, for they have studded the
heavens for centuries.

What is it that goes up and down hill, but never moves? The road.

What is the difference between the Prince of Wales and a fountain?
One is heir to the throne, the other thrown to the air.

Why is a negro woman like a doorway? Because she's a negress.

How does a sailor know there's a man in the moon? Because he has been
to sea. Why didn't he stay there? Because he found it was full.

Why are you most likely to miss the 12:50 train? It is ten to one if
you catch it.

Why should alchemists and astrologers be females? They are often Ann
Elizas and Charlotte Anns from birth.

How does Patrick propose to get over his single blessedness? By
proposing to Bridge-it.

Why is a kiss like a sermon? Because it requires two heads and an
application.

Why should a man named Benjamin marry a girl named Annie? Because he
would then be Bennie-fitted, and she Annie-mated.

State why a donkey browsing in a bed of thistles appears ill. Because
he's a little down in the mouth, and looks rather seedy about the
face.

Why am I, when prudently laying by money, like myself when foolishly
squandering it? Because in either case I am--ass.

When is a teapot like a kitten? When you're teasin' it (your tea's in
it).

Why does a puss purr? For an obvious pur-puss (purpose).

When is a fruit-stalk like a strong swimmer? When it stems the
currants.

Why is lip-salve like a chaperon? Because it's meant to keep the
chaps off.

Why are the bars of a convent like a blacksmith's apron? Because they
keep the sparks off.

In what condition is a beer-barrel when it resembles old-fashioned
curtains? When it's tap is dry (tapest