ry).

Why can the pall-bearers at a young lady's funeral never be dry?
Because they have a gall on a bier between them.

What is the best day for making pancakes? Fry-day.

Why is a pair of skates like an apple? Because they have both
occasioned the fall of man.

On a frosty day, what are the best fishes to fasten together? Skates,
soles, an' (h)eels.

In what sort of syllables ought a parrot to be taught to speak? In
polly-silly-bills.

Why is it dangerous for a teetotaler to have more than two reasons
for the faith that is in him? Because three scruples make a dram.

What is the best key to a good dinner? Turkey.

Why is your favorite puppy like a doll? It is a pup-pet.

Which of the planets would a tortoise like best to live in? Herschel.

Why is a bullet like a tender glance? Because it pierces hearts.

What is the most suitable dance to wind up a frolic? A reel.

Why is a cook more noisy than a gong? One makes a din, the other a
dinner.

What death does the sculptor die? He makes faces, and busts.

When may a room that is full of people be said to be empty? When
there is not a _single_ person in it.

Of what trade is the sun? A tanner.

When may a ship be said to be in love? When she is tender on a
man-of-war.

When is she actively in love? When she seeks a mate.

When is she ambitiously in love? When she is making up to a peer.

When is she foolishly in love? When she is attached to a great buoy.

When is she absurdly in love? When she is h'anchoring after a heavy
swell.

When is she demonstratively in love? When she hugs the shore.

When is she weakly in love? When she rests on the bosom of a little
cove.

When is she treated too familiarly? When a smack follows her bow.

Why is a lame beggar inconsistent? He asks for alms when he wants
legs.

Why has the acrobat such a wonderful digestion? Because he lives on
ropes and poles, and thrives.

If the acrobat fell off his trapeze, what would he fall against?
Against his inclination.

Why is a little dog's tail like the heart of a tree? Because it's
farthest from the bark.

Why is there no such thing as an entire day? Because every day begins
by breaking.

What is that which every living being has seen, but will never see
again? Yesterday.

What is that which _will be_ yesterday, and _was_ to-morrow? To-day.

What is better than presence of mind in a railway accident? Absence
of body.

Why is traveling by the Subway dangerou