rns on his feet like a certain favorite
vegetable? Because he is a toe-martyr (tomato).

Why is a bald head like heaven? Because there is no parting or dyeing
there.

Why is the meeting of lovers like a battle? Because there is an arm-y
presentation.

Why is a young man who seldom attends church, sitting in the pulpit
of a leaky church in a rain storm, like one who constantly attends
church? Because he is sitting under the droppings of the sanctuary.

If a general should ask in vain for martial music, what word would
embody his request? Conundrum (can none drum?).

Why is a fancy dancer like an old-fashioned country woman? Because
she reels and spins.

In what constellation are the two shooting dogs which never go down?
In Ursa Major, the pointers; they never go down because they are not
setters.

What bird made the Yankee dish, bird's-nest pudding, and for what
other bird was it made? Why, it was the cook who (cuckoo) made it,
and for the swallow, of course.

Why are some ministers worse than Brigham Young? Because they have
married more women than they can support, and would like to marry
more.

In what respect does an attorney resemble a clergyman? He studies the
law and profits (prophets).

What is the best way to raise strawberries? With a spoon.

Why is a man upstairs beating his wife an honorable man? Because he
is _above_ doing a mean action.

"Why," asks a disconsolate widow, "is venison like my late and
never-sufficiently-to-be-lamented husband?" Because it is the dear
(deer) departed.

What consolation has the homely girl? She will be a _pretty_ old one
if she lives long enough.

What moral sentence does a weathercock suggest? "It is a vain (vane)
thing to a-spire."

What is that which if you take away all the letters remains the same?
The postman.

Why is a correct knowledge of grammar indispensable to young
clergymen? Because it leads to a(c)curacy.

Why is an extremely religious Roman Catholic lady only a very
virtuous goose? Because she is so faithful to her proper gander
(propaganda).

Why is a baker a most improvident person? Because he is continually
selling that which he kneads himself.

Why is a good husband like dough? Because a woman needs him.

Why is it that the sun always rises in the East? Because the (y)east
makes everything rise.

What is a very frequent mistake clergymen make in their sermons?
Their being too long.

What is that if you take the whole away som