s a-shaving.

Why is a pretty young lady like a wagon-wheel? Because she is
surrounded by felloes (fellows).

Of what religious persuasion is the sea? A Quaker--for it has a broad
brim.

Though I dance at a ball, yet am I nothing at all. A shadow.

What is that which, though black itself, enlightens the world? Ink.

When is a sailor not a sailor? When he's a-board.

What is the difference between a chess-player and an habitual toper?
One watches the pawn, the other pawns the watch.

Which animal is the heaviest in all creation? A le(a)d horse.

What sort of tune do we all enjoy most? For-tune, made up of
bank-notes.

Why is a spendthrift, with regard to his fortune, like the water in a
filter? Because he soon runs through it, and leaves many matters
behind to settle.

Why is English grammar like gout? Because it's torture (taught yer).

Why is an office with no work to do like a good dinner eaten by an
invalid? Because it's a sign-o'-cure (sinecure).

Why is a shoeblack like an editor? Because he polishes the
understandings of his patrons.

Why is opening a letter like taking a very queer method of entering a
room? Because it is breaking through the sealing (ceiling).

Why are persons with short memories like office-holders? Because they
are always for-getting everything.

What word is it which expresses two things we men all wish to get,
one bringing the other, but which if we do get them, the one bringing
the other, we are unhappy? Miss-fortune.

When is sugar like a pig's tooth? When in a hog's head.

Why is a joint company not like a watch? Because it does not go after
it is wound up.

When may a man be said to be personally involved? When he is wrapped
up in himself.

What wind should a hungry sailor wish for? One that blows fowl and
chops about.

Why are bookkeepers like chickens? Because they have to scratch for a
living.

Why do British soldiers never run away? Because they belong to the
standing army.

What part of a car resembles a person? The wheel, because it is
tired.

On which side of a pitcher is the handle? The outside.

When may a chair be said to dislike you? When it can't bear you.

What is that which divides by uniting and unites by dividing? The
scissors.

Why are young children like castles in the air? Because their
existence is only in-fancy.

Why is a proud girl like a music book? She is full of airs.

Why is a short negro like a white man? Because he is not