how a certain river which ran through that
country was called, replied, that they never had need to call the
river, for it came without calling.

A country fellow who was unaccustomed to paved streets, came to
London, and a dog suddenly ran out of one of the houses and came
furiously at him. The fellow stooped to pick up a stone to throw at
the dog, but finding them all fast rammed or paved into the ground,
exclaimed, "What a strange country am I in, where the people tie up
the stones, and let the dogs loose!"

A justice of the peace, angry with a pilfering knave, said, "Sirrah,
if thou dost not mend thy manner, thou wilt be shortly hanged, or
else I will be hanged for thee." The bold knave replied, "I thank
your worship for that kind offer, and I beseech your worship not to
be out of the way, when I shall have occasion to use you."

A sailor riding from Dover to London on a tired horse, was urged by
his companions to ride faster. "I can come no faster," he replied.
"Do you not see that I am becalmed?"

Between twelve and one o'clock one asked me what o'clock it was. I
answered, "Little or nothing." He demanded what I meant. I replied
that, it being not one of the clock, it was to be reckoned or counted
for naught, as that which is less than one is little or nothing.

(James the First and his successor created knights profusely for the
purpose of raising money. From this fact grew the following
conundrum:) Why did a knight take place of a gentleman? Because they
were knights nowadays before they were gentlemen.

Why do fat men love their ease so much? Because the soul in a fat
body lies soft, and is therefore loath to rise.

Who is he that has a fine wit in jest? A fool in earnest.

One, hearing that a traveler had been on the peak of Teneriffe (which
is supposed to be one of the highest hills in the world), asked him
why he had not stayed there, for he was sure he would never come so
near heaven again.

What countryman is the devil? A Spaniard; for Spaniards, like the
devil, trouble the whole world. (1600.)

Musicians may be compared to chameleons, because they live by air.

What countryman is a ploughman? They are all born in Hungary.

Printers are the most lawless men in the kingdom, because they commit
faults with license.

Why should men think there is a world in the moon? Because they are
lunatic. (This refers to the book, "A Discovery of a New World," by
Bishop Wilkins, which had just appeared in