that is about the last thing the
volunteers intend doing.

Why did the population of Rome decrease just before the fall of the
empire? Because the Romans had ceased to practice husbandry.

When Charles I was beheaded, of what dish did the executioner dine,
and where? He took a chop at the King's Head.

Why ought Charles I to have preferred burning to decapitation?
Because a hot steak (stake) is always preferable to a cold chop.

Why did the Highlanders do most execution at Waterloo? Because every
man had one kilt before the battle began.

Why are the Royal Academicians the greatest swells ever known?
Because Solomon, even in all his glory, was not R. A.'d (arrayed)
like one of these.

What piece of music did the Romans, at the time of the early
Christians, most enjoy? A stab at martyr (A Stabat Mater).

If a nice plump Member of Parliament were eaten uncooked by savages,
why would he be like Louis Napoleon? Because he would be served as an
M. P. raw (emperor).

Why is the list of celebrated musical composers like a saucepan?
Because it is incomplete without a Handel.

When was Napoleon I most shabbily dressed? When out at Elba (elbow).

What was once the most fashionable cap in Paris? The mob--without a
crown.

In what respects were the governments of Algiers and Malta as
different as light from darkness? The one was governed by deys, the
other by knights.

Why is the Delaware River like an inkstand? Because Penn was the
first man who entered it.

Why did Marcus Curtius leap into the gulf in Rome? Because he thought
it a good opening for a young man.

What were the odds at the battle of Aliwal? They were six (Sikhs) and
we (the English) one (won).

What Indian battle tried the metal (mettle) of the English soldiers?
The battle of Assay(e).

Who is the first little boy mentioned by a single word in the history
of England? Chap. I.

Who was the first postman? Cadmus. He carried letters from Phoenicia
to Greece.

Where was Humboldt going when he was thirty-nine years old? Into his
fortieth year.

What three letters give the name of a famous Roman general? C P O
(Scipio).

Why did Louis Philippe omit to take his umbrella when he left Paris?
Just as he left the rain (reign) was over.

Why are the English the worst judges of cattle in the world? Because
the Pope sent them a bull and they thought it a bore (boar).

If you wish a very religious man to go to sleep, by what imperial
name should you