s of this book.

* * * * *

A poet was asked where his wits were. "A-wool-gathering," he
answered. "No people have more need of it," was the reply.

A good client is like a study gown, which sits in the cold himself to
keep his lawyer warm.

"Why do lawyers' clerks write such wide lines?" "It is done to keep
the peace. For if the plaintiff should be in one line and the
defendant in the next, with the lines too near together, they might
perhaps fall together by the ears."

A master spoke in a strain which his servant did not understand. The
servant thereupon asked that his master might rather give him blows
than such hard words.

What great scholar is this same Finis, because his name is to almost
every book?[2]

[2] Hazlitt considers this witticism, found in "Conceits, Clinches,
Flashes, and Whimzies" (London, 1639), the earliest of its kind,
and calls attention to the discussion as to whether Shakespeare's
plays were written by _Mr. Preface_ or _Mr. Finis_.

A prodigal is like a brush that spends itself to make others go
handsome in their clothes.

An antiquary loves everything for being moldy and worm-eaten,--as
Dutchmen do cheese.

It was said that a player had "an idle employment of it." "You are
mistaken," was the reply, "for his whole life is nothing else but
action."

A simple fellow in gay clothes was likened to a cinnamon
tree,--because the bark was of more worth than the body.

One asked a favor of a prisoner, saying that he had hitherto found
him a fast friend, and hoped he should find him so still.

A scholar who was much given to going abroad, was advised that he put
away his cushion, as he would then "sit harder to his study."

It was remarked that "poetry and plain dealing were a couple of
handsome wenches." It was replied that "he who weds himself to either
of them shall die a beggar."

Why are women so crooked and perverse in their conditions? Because
the first woman was made of a crooked thing.

One was advised to marry a little woman, because "of evils the least
was to be chosen."

A rich lawyer, whose fortune had been made by the practice of his
profession, desired to bequeath a certain sum to the insane asylum of
Bedlam. Being questioned why, he replied that he had got his money of
mad men, and he would give it to them again.

The trade of tooth drawer is a conscienceless one, because it is
"nothing else but to take away those things whereb