my natural tendency to
sentimentality. On the other hand, I was shy and undemonstrative
with all except my nearest relatives, and with them as well after
my seventh or eighth year. And here it may be well to describe my
"mental type," as this is probably the most important factor in
determining the direction of one's mental development. Of mental
types the "visual" is, of course, by far the most common, but in
my own case visual imagery was never strong or vivid, and has
constantly grown weaker. The dominant part has been played by
tactual, muscular and organic sensations, placing me as one of
the "tactual motor" type, with strong "verbal motor" and
"organic" tendencies. In reading a novel I seldom have a mental
picture of the character or situation, but easily imagine the
sensations (except the visual) and feel something of the emotions
described. When telling of any event I have a strong impulse to
make the movements described and to gesticulate. I remember
events in terms of movements and the words to be used in giving
an account of them; and in thinking of any subject I can feel the
movements of the larynx and, in a less degree, of the lips and
tongue that would be involved in putting my thoughts into words.
I am easily moved to emotion, even to sentimentality, but am
seldom if ever deeply affected and am so averse to any display of
my feelings that I have the reputation among my acquaintances of
being cold, unfeeling and unemotional. I am naturally quiet and
bashful to a degree, which has rendered all forms of social
intercourse painful through much of my life, and this in spite of
a real longing to associate with people on terms of intimacy. As
a child I was sensitive and solitary; later I became morbid as
well. In a character so constituted the feelings and impulses of
the moment are likely to rule, and such has been my constant
experience, though a large element of obstinacy in my character
has kept me from appearing impulsive, and slight influences will
bring about reactions which seem out of all proportion to their
cause. For instance, I cannot, even now, read the more erotic of
Boccaccio's stories without a good deal of sexual excitement and
restlessness, which can be relieved only by vigorous exercise or
masturbation.

The first ten years of my life were passed