of
petty insults and much ill-treatment from this boy. I reached the
height of my passion on the night that he appeared at our
cottage in a tight-fitting suit of pepper-and-salt. I gloried in
his perfect legs and besought my guardian that she would buy me a
similar suit of clothes.

For the summer after I was 8 years old I lived in a cottage in a
country town. The servant maid M. was a young girl of 16 who
listened eagerly to my accounts of the "secrets" and actions in
which the girl E. and I had taken delight a year before. I think
that M. arranged a meeting between a little black-haired girl and
me in order that we might take a walk and play sexually with each
other. Just as we were starting on our walk one of my relatives
said that I must not leave the yard.

The little girl and I had see-sawed together and I had been
interested in her legs as she rose in the air. (When I was 13
years old and see-sawing at a picnic with a stout girl, the
motion of the board and the sight of her straddled form filled me
with longing to embrace her sexually.) One afternoon M. took me
to the house of an acquaintance of hers. M's brother was in the
room and made a number of unremembered remarks which struck me as
being rather "free," and M. told me later that she and the girl
once dressed as ballet dancers and danced before M.'s brother. I
felt that he was lascivious. I was always remarkably intuitive.

I fell in love with a handsome, stout, black-haired boy who lived
on a farm; but he was not a "farmer's son" in the common sense of
the word. I visited him for two or three days, and we slept with
each other, to my boundless joy. For his freckled girl cousin I
did not care the turn of my wrist, although she was a nice enough
little thing. One night when we three lay on a bed in the dark,
and neither of us boys had eyes or words for her, she silently
left us. He and I never committed the slightest sexual fault. I
left him with tears at the summer-end, and I often kissed his
photograph during the following winter.

In the flat-house where I began to live when I was 8 years old, I
once practiced mutual tickling of a very slight character with a
boy of my own age. We sat on chairs placed opposite to each other
and we inserted our fingers through the openings in our trousers.
Just as we we